What a year! In recent years, I've usually gone to bed hours
before midnight on New Year's Eve - I just don't see the point in
staying up, and I'm not normally social enough to be at a party.
But I had to make sure 2008 was gone! As well as the issues around
my job earlier in the year, we had two weddings (one a surprise)
and a funeral, family illness (not related to the funeral), bad
landlords, a useless lecturer, really good and really bad skiing
weather (including an unplanned night on Mt Ruapehu), a promotion,
a new house, new study, and job dramas for Hubby. I think that
covers the eventfulness of the year, and some of it was positive
even if there was a lot that was tough to deal with.
2007 had been a stagnant year for me, and so at the end of that
one I'd just expressed a desire for things to improve. 2008
certainly was not stagnant, and I think things are better now than
a year ago. Sometimes I guess you have to take a small step or two
backward to get on the right path.
Housing Hell
So here's the gory details, continuing from my last blog. After
two weeks staying with our friends when we moved to the new city,
we moved into a tiny (smaller than a double garage) furnished flat
near the city centre. It was walking distance to work for me,
although I did have a serious hill to get down and up every day.
Within a few weeks of moving in, I started describing it as "the
hovel", with good reason. As well as being small, it was old,
uninsulated, damp, and freezing cold. Our power bill was bigger
than when we lived in our previous 3-bedroom house that was six
times the size. The rental agency landlords were somewhere between
incompetent and dishonest, and not very pleasant to deal with. The
woman upstairs won a Tenancy Tribunal hearing to get out of the
lease because of the mould. However, we managed to sell our
previous house before the market crashed too badly, and after lots
of searching, moved into our new house, with lots of room for
guests, just before Christmas.
Hubby got the job he was hoping for, and it paid well, but
didn't start for almost a month. He may have been better accepting
the other one however, because the boss didn't treat his staff very
well, apart from the good pay. Hubby ended up finding another job
after a few months. Unfortunately, we won't know until Tuesday
whether he's been made redundant over Christmas from that one.
Fingers crossed - but with my salary and rent from my brother
(who's boarding with us at the moment), we won't have any trouble
meeting the mortgage.
Good Fit
My job, on the other hand, has been brilliant. I love it. My
boss is great. My colleagues are great (most of the time). Many of
the values of the organisation align with mine (which, by the way,
include thrift, honesty, and respecting the beliefs of others).
There's intellectual challenge, and genuine interest in me and my
potential. Perhaps because it's government, the people are trying
to make a difference, and not primarily a profit. I was involved in
the earliest stages of developing a major program, which
unfortunately has been cancelled due to a change in funding
priorities by the new Government. One of my colleagues has gone to
Canada for a year on exchange, and I was promoted into his
position. I am now officially an economist, which I didn't see
coming. It's a bit ironic, given my attitude towards studying
economics in the past, but I suspect a lot of taught economics is
not framed in a way or at a level that works for me.
Saying No
The second biggest stress in my life (after the housing
situation) for most of the year was the post-grad correspondence
course I was studying. I like studying, I'm good at it, I've done
lots of it, and if the course had run as it was meant to, I would
have enjoyed it, like the other five I've done. However, it didn't
run as it was meant to. Full year courses should start in March and
finish in November, but in this course (despite many promises from
the lecturer) Lecture 3 of 12 was delivered in October. For the
first time in my life, I pulled out. I felt incredibly good about
it, partly because that stress was gone, but a lot because I felt
really empowered, finding a suitable solution to a big problem, and
realising that I could live with myself for doing so. (PS my
academic record wasn't hurt, as I'd laid a formal complaint and
withdrew without financial or academic penalty, plus I got my money
back and the money my old company had paid towards my fees). I've
got some new study now, bigger than the old: my new boss is
sponsoring a second PhD for me, which I can work on in work
time.
What's Important?
I'm still working on my goals for this year, but am thinking of
a new approach, starting with "What is important to me?" The
top-of-the-list answer to that one will be Health (broken down into
sub-categories), since without being in the best possible health I
won't be able to manage everything else I want to do. I abandoned
last year's goals pretty early in the piece when everything started
going belly-up - they no longer made much sense and it was hard
enough keeping up with life as it was, without trying to get ahead.
Hopefully this year will let us settle a little bit and get a
reasonable level on control back.
Life, Death & Milestones
The funeral this year did start me thinking on another topic:
babies. Yes I did turn 30 a couple of months ago (and had a very
nice dinner with friends at the Chateau), no I don't think this is
related. I have always said I don't intend to have children, but
that I wouldn't make a permanent decision to not have children
until I was 35, and after that it would be too late for me to chose
to start. The funeral was for our nephew - after 16 months of
secretly trying, my sister-in-law announced she and her husband
were pregnant with their first child. However, a few months later
at the 20 week scan, they discovered he had extremely serious heart
defects, and he was still-born prematurely less than two weeks
later. It made me think that those of us who are luck enough to get
a proper chance at life should make the most of it, if nothing else
out of respect for those who don't. And maybe it is my
responsibility to share my decent set of genes, and have children
too. Not that I would ever chose to have a baby just because I
think it's my responsibility, but it adds more weight to the
argument. I've also observed women (and to a lesser extent men) at
work, noting who do and don't have kids. The people with children
seem to be more mature, less highly strung, and overall better to
work with - it looks like parenthood adds a dimension of personal
growth that might be difficult to get any other way, and would be
(in the long run) helpful to one's career. I'm not ready yet, but I
may yet shock those that know me in a few years time.
Smoother Waters
While last year was a shocker, I do think I am in a better place
for it (I don't think Hubby agrees though - he's still not sure
about this town, and still has a lot of job worries). My confidence
is at an all-time high, which is good because it's the only way I
can speak up often enough to keep some of the extroverts I work
with in line :). I'm indulging my desire to learn in a big way, and
things are finally starting to settle back down. Once I've figured
out how to get 36 hours into every day, life will be perfect.