Has this cartoon's situation ever happened to you?
Or maybe you remember struggling to be heard and sound serious
against the backdrop of louder, masculine voices in a meeting?
Or simply found you'd picked the wrong seat and ended up in an
invisible backwater?
It's a research-backed fact that women do not get accorded the
same rights and privileges in meetings as men. A woman sitting at
the head of the table is less likely to be seen as the meeting
leader than a man sitting there. A woman seeking to influence a
group will get fewer nods and positive body language cues from the
other meeting members than a man - even if he uses the same words
and ideas. Frankly, we need all the tips, tricks and techniques we
can muster in order to be effective in this very common business
setting.
At the Good Girl's Career Guide seminar we tackled this issue
and here we share the collective wisdom of the group.
Preparation
This word came up in several of our discussions! It was relevant
to communication, as well as to meetings. The more prepared you
are, the more confident you'll feel, and the more effective you'll
be.
- Prepare your strategy ahead of the meeting. Think about who
will be there, what your objectives are, what theirs will be. Also,
think about you want the other attendees to think and feel after
the meeting
- Put your key ideas down in writing ahead of time. You could
also copy your work as a handout for all attendees. Your ideas will
be much harder to steal that way!
- If you are prone to flush around the neck and upper chest when
nervous, and if a big meeting is likely to make you feel that way,
wear clothing to hide the area. You can also use cover-up makeup
for the bits clothing can't reach. Knowing others can't see signs
you're nervous can bolster your confidence.
Physical Space
As women we are shorter, quieter, smaller than the average man.
Taking our share of physical space can help us stake a claim to our
words and ideas. For example:
- Take a strategic position at the table. How?
- Sit opposite the Chair to make it easier to catch their eye and
break into the flow
- If there's an 'open mike' section that always goes round the
table in the same direction, make sure you're not always sitting in
the last seat (you'll get less time)
- Don't sit out on the "flanks" of the table.
- You may have to arrive early to get the best seat, though one
suggestion at the seminar was to be among the last to arrive so as
create more of an entrance...
- If you are petite, try standing to share your thoughts. This
not only increases your physical presence, it adds a visual signal
to the auditory ones and registers more clearly in the audience's
heads who contributed the thoughts. Standing up can be effective
for all women when the idea they want to share, and own, is an
important one.
Speaking
- Make sure you say something, and make that something a
worthwhile point
- When you've finished, stop, don't feel obliged to fill the
silence. Use the silence to draw others out (remember that people
sometimes need time to process your points)
- Make sure you have a "so-what" in your point. It helps you keep
ownership of the idea whereas an open-ended contribution invites
other people to build on it
- Speak a little louder and just a little deeper than you usually
do
- Please try to cut the modifier words a little bit because they
make us sound quite vague, don't they? And maybe you could consider
avoiding the apologetic, uncertain tones, too?
Your Tips
Do you have more ideas to share? Have you found real success
with any of the tips we've listed above? We'd love to hear your
experiences - leave a comment below!