03 September 2009

A Mentoring Morning

By Sarah Wilshaw-Sparkes

Making it Work

Is mentoring important to women's careers? 100% of respondents in Professionelle's survey on that topic a little over a year ago agreed. Perhaps that's why our first public networking breakfast, held in February 2009 and based around a facilitated discussion on mentoring, sold out so quickly!

We have always believed that one way Professionelle can make a significant difference to professional women is by tapping into the wisdom of our whole community. When we then take those insights and feed them forward to other women and to employers via articles, workshops, networking and talks, we ensure that the knowledge of what works for working women circulates for everyone's benefit. The recent breakfast and this follow-up piece are examples of that process.

With fifty professional women in the room, and questions shared among the tables, we had a wonderful opportunity to first to present our perspectives and then to hear back from everyone. We also invited further reflections by email after the event, and I'll be quoting from those responses in this article.

To see what an event like this is like - and the calibre of the women who attend! - watch the 3 minute video below.

Diversity and Congruence

Without fail, Professionelle's get-togethers bring a diverse group of professional working women together. And this breakfast was no exception. In fact, this time we had a wide range of ages and more ethnicities than before. Work-wise, we had contractors, small business owners, full time and part timers, as well as women from not-for-profit organisations, the media, financial services, professional services and corporates. To ensure women got the most out of mixing and mingling, we pre-arranged the seating arrangements and ensured no more than three women from the same organisation shared a table. Our members really do value this mix:

Thank you for organizing the networking breakfast last week. It was really good. As with the workshop I attended last year, I was very impressed with the diverse range of professional women that attended.

Perhaps it's surprising then, amid such diversity, how much congruence there was in the responses to the discussion questions. Or perhaps it's not surprising - professional women who gravitate to Professionelle seem to share some key attitudes and values, as I'll highlight further on.

We'll Go Informal, Thanks

I was struck by how many tables wove into their responses an emphasis on preferring informal to formal mentoring programmes. Informal refers here to the mechanism for a mentor and mentee to find each other. One table reported:

Arranged meetings between mentor and mentee don't typically have chemistry.

Our view, confirmed by research, is that women want to find a mentor who "inspires" them, "someone they want to be like" … factors that HR cannot be expected to be able to predict. Like our members we think that rather than pre-assigning people to this important relationship, HR departments could instead create opportunities for a mix of seniorities and departments get together - much as we were doing at this breakfast! - and to design the interactions to break down the usual peer groupings.

The seniors tend to stick together. You need to get the mix going at mixed tables.

One example of an informal mixed-seniority meeting was from Air New Zealand where, we heard, Rob Fyfe holds internal lunches, at which he talks informally with a small group of employees.

A beautifully simple example of what a company can do to facilitate people finding each other came from Vero. New hires are given coffee cards that they can redeem at a local café; the idea is that they can invite senior managers for a chat and a coffee to find out both about their roles and them as people.

Providing staff profiles on the organisation's intranet could also help identify individuals who could become mentors (or mentees!) When accompanied by clearly signals that no formal mentoring programme will be offered, these tools give motivated new hires valuable support as they set out to find someone with "a generosity of spirit" to help them advance.

Navigating the Workplace

As we said in our introductory words at the breakfast, research shows that mentors - especially from the same company - provide most value to mentees' careers by helping them navigate the politics and inner workings of their organisation. One table agreed, commenting, "It can take 7 to 10 years to get clarity on 'how things get done around here'."

I suspect that for some new graduates the word 'mentor' in fact conjures up an Obi-Wan-Kenobi figure, more suited to knightly quests than to navigating organisational realities. For these people, in particular, HR departments can help by providing information on what mentoring is, and how to get the most from it. Another valuable intervention was felt to be senior women leading by example in talking about their mentors, and the value they had gained from such relationships.

Goal-Driven

It was widely agreed that a successful approach to a mentor, and a predictor of a successful relationship, involved the mentee being proactive. The two main parts to this were:

  1. Active research of who might make a good mentor, and what links might need to be forged to meet them.
    "Put yourself into places where you might meet them. BNI, Professionelle. Bring about a situation to meet them."
  2. Careful preparation beforehand in thinking about your goals. "Identify your needs and what you're looking to get from the relationship. Then you'll have a frame of reference to discuss when you meet the potential mentor. Another table offered: "Your purpose matters. Are you looking to develop skills? Do you want sponsorship to push you up the organisation?"

One member wrote to us afterwards and described a "failed" formal mentoring relationship. It was, she said:

…a situation of me as mentor for a junior lawyer. She didn't really understand why she wanted a mentor or what I could help her with or what direction she was headed in. In hindsight, maybe I could have helped her more with those questions, but I'm not really a career counsellor.If someone wants to achieve the same sort of things that I have achieved, I'm more than happy to show them the ropes.

So, I guess that this is another example of where the mentees need to know what path they want to be on and the mentors need to be in a position to guide them on that path.

We're Worth It!

Another table that also tackled the how-to-make-a-practical-approach issue reminded us that the value from a mentoring relationship can flow to a mentor as much as to a mentee ( Galia wrote about research that confirms this too). In particular, the table advised,

Don't assume that people will be too busy to mentor you or that you have little to offer someone so senior. People in senior roles can get isolated. You bring them that vital perspective from another part of the organisation and from a different generation. You can share your learnings with them.

Look Outwards

While many people appeared to have had good experience with internal mentors, there were risks associated with them.

  • Trust and being able to talk in complete confidence were seen as essential attributes of a relationship - but potentially difficult when there was a working relationship that also needed managing.
  • Competition between mentors and rising mentees was another caveat
  • External mentors could sometimes bring a fresher point of view, untainted by being within the politics of the organisation.

Things Change

Careers progress and goals change. One member described an excellent mentoring relationship that ran out of steam when her goals fundamentally shifted. As a result of some of the things she heard at our breakfast meeting, she is now proactively looking for a mentor to help her tackle a new set of objectives. She wrote:

My first mentoring relationship was with a young-ish female partner at my firm. We got on very well and she liked my work and went out of her way to ensure that I progressed through the firm's ranks. She did all sorts of great things for me, including getting me onto important jobs ... making sure that I worked with the real dealmakers in the firm ... getting me "in" with her group of other young-ish partners... giving me tips on how to deal with "quiet times" so that it didn't look like a period of underachievement.

She was a legend, and under her guidance I progressed very quickly. However, it all turned out a bit hopeless when I decided that becoming a partner at that firm was not one of my goals - in fact it was something that I wanted to run as far from as possible. She still thinks that I should be at the firm and doesn't understand why I left. Fortunately it hasn't affected our friendship, but as a professional mentor she is no longer very helpful.

[Before the breakfast meeting] I guess that I had pretty much given up faith on mentoring as a concept. I had reached the conclusion that mentoring was more beneficial to people who are starting out than to people who had already reached a level of seniority in their career. Needless to say, I have changed my mind over the last 10 days or so while thinking about the content that was discussed.

My conclusion after the breakfast mentoring session is that I need a mentor whose experience is aligned with the direction I want to head. My primary goal is to create my own client base of people that come to me, rather than to a branded firm. I have given a lot of thought to it and have set up a lunch with a friend who has been very successful as a sole-practitioner accountant - she could be a potential mentor for me. Even if that doesn't work out, it has become a lot clearer in my mind what sort of mentor I now need.

One insight is that even the best mentor is unlikely to be able to advise you in all stages of your career. In fact, it isn't unusual to have two or three mentors at one time, each meeting a different group of objectives or needs.

Galia also had the inkling of an idea as she listened at the breakfast to mentoring stories like the one above. She's still working on it, but it flows from the realisation that there are several broad reasons to take on a mentor and these will tend to correlate with particular career and life stages. It may be possible therefore to develop a diagnostic questionnaire that helps women identify what could be right for them. Once it's off the drawing board, Galia will be keen to test drive it with breakfast attendees.

Self Starters

I'll finish by reflecting on a common thread that seems to mark out 'Professionelles': they are action-oriented. They don't wait for opportunities, they go looking for them. Such searching, of course, is what brought many to our site in the first place!

This trait may explain why we heard such clear themes at the breakfast around proactivity and responsibility.

I also think that women in general - and I can speak for professional women in particular - place real value on having personal connections. It isn't "all business", the people really matter. In a mentoring relationship that personal connection doesn't mean the sessions have to become shoulders-to-cry-on or cheerleading-ego-pumps. Instead, it makes it easier to build trust in the other's commitment to the relationship and to absolute confidentiality.

© Professionelle 2009

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