My senior manager and mentor pointed out to me yesterday that
women like me and she are a bit unusual. We're both very
intelligent - perhaps too intelligent - but it's a lot harder for
us to figure out the social niceties and necessities that a
professional woman needs to be successful. It made me wonder how
many other women are struggling with the same issues, and how we
can find each other for support, help, and reassurance. My manager
also pointed out that most of the women who do have the people
skills I can only dream of have no idea of the challenges we have
in finding out what skills are missing and how to fix them. Since
I'm also facing some uncertain times career-wise, I thought it
might be worth sharing my experiences.
I'm pretty much at the beginning of my career - after a lot of
time at university training as a mathematician and doing fairly
well, I joined the workforce in my mid-twenties as a business
analyst on the graduate program for a well-known NZ company. I've
worked in most areas of the business in one way or another, and am
now reaching the end of the three year program. I finally married
my high school sweetheart a couple of years ago, but have no kids
and no plans for any. Hubby is about half-way through an
apprenticeship and not really the academic type. All our money goes
to the mortgage - we live in a not-very-cheap city outside of
Auckland. I also tutor maths, which I've been doing since high
school and thoroughly enjoy, and do a little post-grad study on the
side.
My forte is technical stuff - lots of Excel spreadsheets,
modelling and forecasting, that type of thing. But I'm shy, which
makes it hard to approach people, and hard to ask for things. I'm
used to working independently, so I forget to create a team when I
work on a project. And I just don't see some of the more subtle
things that people say and do. I need very specific feedback to
know where my non-technical weaknesses are, then help to create a
detailed plan to try and get over them. I'm working on making sure
I smile at everyone around the office, say hello, and perhaps even
have a conversation; and defining my project broadly rather than
narrowly. I used to think I smiled a lot, until someone said they
thought I hardly ever smiled.
I got a big shock last week. HR had a meeting with me, and
basically said there wasn't a suitable space for me in the company
when I finish the graduate program. Since I was expecting to have a
choice from two or three business analyst positions (and had been
told this by a senior manager), I was a bit surprised and not very
happy. Apparently, while my technical skills were very good, my
human skills such as teamwork, keeping managers informed about my
projects, and canvassing the opinions of others hadn't developed
much over the three years and without them I wouldn't make a good
business analyst. Fair enough, except I only found out I needed to
develop those skills about three months ago, and have been making
good progress since then. On the up side, the company is paying for
me to see a career expert to help me learn what I want to do with
my life, what my skills and weaknesses are, and hopefully how I can
improve them. That appointment is in a couple of weeks, and in the
meantime, most career thoughts and development plans are on hold. I
expect that'll be the subject of my next blog.
On a more exciting and positive note, I am undergoing a
mini-makeover tomorrow. Some of you may be horrified to read this,
but I am trying to look older! I hit 30 later this year, but people
regularly mistake me for being in my early to mid twenties, and I
was ID'ed at the supermarket twice last year when I was doing the
fortnightly groceries with Hubby. It makes it just that bit harder
to get respect for your intellect and experience when you look like
you've barely left school. As for the makeover, I am going to a new
hairdresser who has an excellent reputation for achieving a great
lifestyle-appropriate look, and will also be getting my eyebrows
and eyelashes tinted for the first time. It might be good-bye for
my long, frizzy, never-dyed hair, and hello to the sleek and
sophisticated look I've always dreamed of. Although, if it's too
perfect, it won't be me - I would like to retain the tiniest hint
of the Einstein look.
PS: mid February 2008
I was planning to write this postscript last night, but didn't
realise how long a trip to the hairdressers can take! I had a lot
of blond foils, and a little bit of layering and trimming, so my
hair is still long and curly and slightly unruly. My eyebrows and
eyelashes look great, and I got my makeup done at the same time. I
find it very different when I look in the mirror, but reactions at
work ranged from not noticing at all (mostly men), to asking if I
was wearing new clothes (I wasn't), to saying how great my hair and
eyes looked. I'm still getting used to it, but am pretty pleased,
especially since it obviously isn't as dramatic as it feels.