QI am a senior lawyer in a large law firm. One of our new law clerks is very young, very smart and very attractive. She has done some work for me and I found her to be excellent. I believe she has real potential to do well. Unfortunately, she dresses in a very ‘non-corporate’ way: low-cut tops, short skirts etc. I personally don’t have a problem with it as it seems to keep the clients happy. However, I have noticed that the male partners and seniors only ever make comments about her looks and dress, never about the excellent work she does.
On the one hand, I don’t want to say anything, partly because it’s in the ‘none of my business’ territory and I also don’t want her thinking I’m jealous or just old! But on the other hand, I feel that she is really letting herself down and potentially damaging her career. Have you come across similar situations? What would you do?
ADressing in the corporate environment can be a tricky art to master. In fact, in our experience some young women opt for non-conservative clothing as a personal statement to make a point of not toeing the line. However, we agree that your colleague may damage her career by getting a reputation for the wrong reasons. For all we know, she may be totally unaware of the impact her clothing style has on her colleagues.
Of course, saying nothing is an option. You might want to ask yourself,
If I were in her shoes, would I want to be told?
If you decide to say something, we do have some ideas on how you might approach it. In essence there are two ways – the direct and the indirect.
1. The Direct Approach:
Ask her to coffee and begin the conversation with a general chat about how she’s finding work in your firm. Sometimes we forget that having a senior woman show interest in you when you are starting out is a BIG thing. Then you can tell her how good you find her to be and how impressed you are with her work. It is really important that you convey to her that you value her for her work and hold her in high regard, so that she doesn’t think (to use your words) that you are ‘jealous or just old’. If you feel at this point that she is genuinely engaged, you can tell her fairly directly that in your world it pays to dress conservatively, as sad as it might be, for all the reasons you outlined.
The advantage of this approach is that you are up-front and honest. This can build a strong relationship between the two of you based on trust and respect.
The disadvantage is that she might take it the wrong way and potentially be very offended.
2. The Indirect Approach:
When the opportunity arises, you can talk about clothing and your favourite places to buy business clothes and why. This is best done if you are together in a lunch room or having coffee and there are other women there.
You can easily kick off by saying something like,
I’m after a new suit and I’m a bit bored by my usual place because of [reason]... can anyone suggest somewhere that sells conservative but interesting clothes?
This way you can get a conversation about clothes going (and we all love those) and your colleague can get a new perspective on how other professional women shop.
The advantage of this approach is that it is low risk with little potential for conflict or misunderstanding.
The disadvantage of this approach is that you might have missed out on an opportunity to be a mentor and a guide to someone you respect. And of course she might miss the point...
Does anyone else have other suggestions? Has anyone encountered this situation? We would love to read your thoughts and see what other alternatives there are out there.
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