QI am a senior lawyer in a large
law firm. One of our new law clerks is very young, very smart and
very attractive. She has done some work for me and I found her to
be excellent. I believe she has real potential to do well.
Unfortunately, she dresses in a very 'non-corporate' way: low-cut
tops, short skirts etc. I personally don't have a problem with it
as it seems to keep the clients happy. However, I have noticed that
the male partners and seniors only ever make comments about her
looks and dress, never about the excellent work she does.
On the one hand, I don't want to say anything, partly
because it's in the 'none of my business' territory and I also
don't want her thinking I'm jealous or just old! But on the other
hand, I feel that she is really letting herself down and
potentially damaging her career. Have you come across similar
situations? What would you do?
ADressing in the corporate environment
can be a tricky art to master. In fact, in our experience some
young women opt for non-conservative clothing as a personal
statement to make a point of not toeing the line. However, we agree
that your colleague may damage her career by getting a reputation
for the wrong reasons. For all we know, she may be totally unaware
of the impact her clothing style has on her colleagues.
Of course, saying nothing is an option. You might want to ask
yourself,
If I were in her shoes, would I want to be
told?
If you decide to say something, we do have some ideas on how you
might approach it. In essence there are two ways - the direct and
the indirect.
1. The Direct Approach:
Ask her to coffee and begin the conversation with a general chat
about how she's finding work in your firm. Sometimes we forget that
having a senior woman show interest in you when you are starting
out is a BIG thing. Then you can tell her how good you find her to
be and how impressed you are with her work. It is really important
that you convey to her that you value her for her work and hold her
in high regard, so that she doesn't think (to use your words) that
you are 'jealous or just old'. If you feel at this point that she
is genuinely engaged, you can tell her fairly directly that in your
world it pays to dress conservatively, as sad as it might be, for
all the reasons you outlined.
The advantage of this approach is that you are
up-front and honest. This can build a strong relationship between
the two of you based on trust and respect.
The disadvantage is that she might take it the
wrong way and potentially be very offended.
2. The Indirect Approach:
When the opportunity arises, you can talk about clothing and
your favourite places to buy business clothes and why. This is best
done if you are together in a lunch room or having coffee and there
are other women there.
You can easily kick off by saying something like,
I'm after a new suit and I'm a bit bored by my
usual place because of [reason]... can anyone suggest somewhere
that sells conservative but interesting clothes?
This way you can get a conversation about clothes going (and we
all love those) and your colleague can get a new perspective on how
other professional women shop.
The advantage of this approach is that it is
low risk with little potential for conflict or
misunderstanding.
The disadvantage of this approach is that you
might have missed out on an opportunity to be a mentor and a guide
to someone you respect. And of course she might miss the
point...
Does anyone else have other suggestions? Has anyone encountered
this situation? We would love to read your thoughts and see what
other alternatives there are out there.
© Professionelle Ltd 2007