31 October 2007

On First Impressions and Networking

By Galia BarHava-Monteith & Penny Harrison, Communicate Ltd

On October 16th 2007, Professionelle held its first ever offline networking event in Auckland.

It was a huge success. We booked a venue that could hold no more than fifty women and we had exactly fifty women! The buzz in the room was positively electrifying. There we were, professional women from both the private and public sectors, some employed full time, others with their own businesses, some starting out on their career, while others are at their peak, all talking enthusiastically to one another.

The first thing we observed was that the women arrived pretty much all on time! All came eager to meet and network with other women. Within minutes the venue was humming with animated and engaged conversations.

The feedback we received was extraordinarily positive, which we found highly encouraging. The comments below illustrate the vibe of the evening beautifully:

Thank you for putting on such a great event! I would be really interested in having more events like that, bi-annual or with greater frequency. Everyone I spoke with was having fun and seemed to be making some good connections. I personally had a wonderful time and do plan on meeting up with some of the wonderful women I met.

I really enjoyed last night and came home on a high. A good atmosphere combined with open, warm and welcoming women - who were interesting, interested and intelligent!

It was good to meet women in other professions, not just lawyers, and of various age groups. I found it interesting that women in say, engineering firms, have had the same experiences as I have in a generally male-dominated area. Also, it's always helpful to hear people talk about their working-OE experiences.

A big thank you to you and Sarah for organising a really enjoyable evening. I was not sure what to expect in the types of ages orprofessions that would attend and was gladdened by the range of ages and careers. It's always good to meet women of different ages to yourself and also that work in different careers. Everyone there was open and friendly which was great. I look forward to the next one in March, though I'm sure we'll see you before then...

Professionelle was not set up to provide offline-networking events. We believe that there are already many networking events for women on offer, especially in Auckland, and we needed some convincing. However, after a number of comments from our members, we decided to try it out and as you can see, it was a great success!

As usual, I had to reflect on why was it such as a success. And I believe it came down to two factors:

  1. The attitude of the women who attended
  2. Our choice of speaker - Penny Harrison from Communicate Consultants and her topic "First Impressions"

Attitudes towards networking

All of the comments we received during the evening and since referred in one way or another to the attitude of the women who were there, and that it was this attitude that made the evening a success. How do you achieve the right attitude among attendees of a networking event? We believe that you must be very clear about the purpose of the event from the outset so that people can select in or out depending on what they're wanting to achieve from the time they invest. Some networking events are focused on generating business opportunities, while others are orientated more towards building professional alliances. As an organiser, you need to be clear about your purpose for your event.

We were very clear that we wanted to replicate the 'feel' of our online community in a face-to-face gathering. We wanted it be warm, and we wanted women to be able to talk about the things that really matter to them. We also wanted to make sure that we chose the right speaker, a professional herself, who would have something of real worth to say that our members could benefit from.

In our communications leading up to the event we were very clear that the purpose of Professionelle's networking event was for professional women to meet and talk to women like themselves. So, the women who selected in were in a mind frame to take advantage of this opportunity!

But, for the event to be successful, the women themselves had to have the right attitude; it was their attitude and their approach to other women, which made the evening. So, how do you take full advantage of networking opportunities as a participant? How do you have a great time, meet interesting people and find the whole thing worthwhile?

Below are some of our tips for you to make full use of networking opportunities:

  • Be clear about your expectations - Work out what it is that you want to accomplish and if the event will help you do that. Basically, if you're wanting to generate business leads, make sure the events you go to are designed for that. If in doubt, ask the organisers. They should be happy to guide you.
  • Keep an open mind and leave your prejudices behind - We all have prejudices; older women might think younger women will find them boring, younger women might think that older women find them silly! It is safe to assume that people who CHOOSE to attend a networking event are usually open-minded and interested.
  • Be open, warm and inclusive - Smiling to someone who approaches you, holding your hand out to introduce yourself, and inviting them to join in your conversation, ALWAYS works a treat. But more on that later.
  • Follow up - To make the most of any networking event, make sure you follow up with at least one person. Unless, of course, you didn't find anyone you want to follow up with! Following up is as simple as sending an e-mail and organising to have a coffee together. The beauty of extending your network through meeting people from other walks of life is that you just never know where it will lead!

Our Choice of a Speaker: Penny Harrison From Communicate Consultants

It was very important to us that our speaker, especially for this first trial event, was the right one. Choosing the right speaker is crucial so that your attendees feel they've really gained something from the event. Even more importantly, the women who attended our event have extremely busy lives and we wanted to make sure they felt respected by our choice of speaker. As you can see from the following comments, they certainly did appreciate our speaker Penny Harrison, who is a veteran of corporate and professional services lives and an expert on communication strategies:

Great night. The speaker was a great choice, not too formal but I think we all would have taken something from what she had to say.

I particularly enjoyed the size (no. of women) of the event, which seemed perfect for the time and agenda. And I loved Penny and the way she ran her slot. There was a fantastic variety of women there and I look forward to meeting more at future events."

Thanks for organising last night - it was interesting to meet new people and an informative talk from Penny. I know I have to lift my game in the appearances stakes!

Penny was also very generous in offering two free communication coaching sessions for the winner of the business card draw!

Making the most of first impressions

Given Penny's talk on first impressions was so well received, we thought we'd share with you her key points.

The very first impressions are outside of our control!

Penny focused on how people make their first judgments. Like it or not, the first things people notice are outside our control. They are ethnicity, gender and age!

Ethnicity: What ethnic group did they expect?

Gender: Male or female? How do they feel about that? Was it unexpected?! What cultural attitudes surround us?

Age: Do they think you look too young to be knowledgeable, or too old to be any use?!

What can we control about first impressions?

Where we can make a difference is by ensuring we have the appropriate appearance for our role/status and for what we are trying to achieve. Yes, people do judge a book by its cover, especially at the first meeting. Appearance is partly to do with clothes and grooming and partly to do with how you conduct yourself.

Appearance: Do you give an appearance of fitting in your role? If you are under-dressed others may feel that you don't respect them or the situation. If you are very over-dressed, they will think you are too formal and distant. Be appropriate to the situation, but when in doubt, in formal professional environments, always dress a little more formally than the group you are dealing with - you can always remove that jacket to reduce the formality if necessary.

Professionally, appearing taller helps! Wear dark, reasonably formal clothes.

Grooming: We also notice grooming in that first impression. Regardless of the level of formality, sloppy grooming generally creates a poor impression. Sloppy grooming includes dirty shoes, unkempt, greasy hair and dirty, smelly clothes!

Facial expression: People notice whether you have a friendly face, and look relaxed and open. Try to avoid letting nervousness and tension show in that first impression. As a professional, you need to look confident and relaxed.

Eye contact: People notice the appropriateness of your eye contact especially in formal occasions. In most European environments, eye contact needs to be direct but not invasive. In many Maori environments, however, you may often need to use more indirect eye contact.

Movement: People notice whether you wave your arms around a lot, or whether you are very tight and still. Lots of arm waving can appear nervous, 'over the top', or disorganised. Tightness can appear uptight. To get effective impact you need to sit and stand firmly, and use gestures in an open and appropriate way.

Amount of room you occupy: This is closely tied up with movement. Use your space confidently but non-aggressively and you will help communication. If you shrink a bit or appear aggressive, people will react to that rather than to what you are saying.

Touch: If you suit the touch you use to the environment you will help long and short term communication. A firm handshake is important. Penny encouraged the attendees to practise their handshake with a friend and the discussion that followed illustrated how important it is for women to have a firm handshake in business. One woman recalled that as a new arrival in New Zealand she had won a job against stiff competition, and comments by her new boss suggested the firm European style of her handshake had a lot to do with her success!

Using your voice to generate a great first impressions

Penny emphasised that being aware of what you sound like as well as what you look like, is extremely important in generating a positive first impression, especially in a business orprofessional context.

Speed: Are you talking too slowly? You need speed variation. People think that slow speakers are of low status. Fluent speakers get listened to.

Volume: Is your voice too soft or too loud? If it is very soft, people will think you lack confidence. If it is very loud, they will assume aggression. Make sure the volume is confidently audible.

Pitch: Is your voice singsong or monotonous? Both of these will cause people to think you are boring! A deeper pitch is easier to hear and thus has more impact. Overall, think of varying the pitch a little as you speak, to provide colour and interest for the listener.

Quality: The timbre or your voice. Is it too nasal, breathy, thin, strident, harsh or hoarse? People are more prepared to listen to a pleasant sounding voice. But what can you do about it? If the stakes are high or you are cursed with a particularly grating timbre, you can take action. Actually Maggie Thatcher had voice training. Before the training she sounded shrill, after it, she spoke low, mellifluously in a way that said "authority and gravitas"

Articulation: How distinct are the sounds of your words? The more clearly you speak the more you will be listened to.

Unfortunately, the content of what you say forms only 7% of the impression you create. This may come as a great disappointment and even shock to those of us who are professional services providers!

But, luckily Penny did have guidance for us to be aware of the important components of peoples' instant judgements when it comes to listening to what is said. For example, if you use a lot of fillers such as 'um' and 'ah' or qualifiers like 'perhaps' and 'sort of' you will give an impression of lack of confidence even if you are an expert in the field. She also warns us to watch out for exclusive languages e.g. jargon as those who don't know the jargon will turn off.
Qualifiers:Penny shared with us that a lot of her male clients comment that women often qualify what they have to say with phrases like 'I think', or "I could be wrong, but…". Men by contrast say 'it is this way'. These qualifiers take away from the persuasiveness of women's arguments and make them appear less decisive. She also encouraged us to take our turn in conversations, rather than wait for it. By doing so, especially when surrounded by men, we are less likely to be interrupted.

Leaving Thought

Finally, Penny left us with the following powerful message:

Research shows that the person who influences the meeting the most speaks the earliest, the most often, the most fluently and the most forcefully….!


© Professionelle Ltd 2007

 

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