A little while ago I wrote an article on Self-Awareness, the
first must-have ingredient for career success - this is my
intensely personal view, but of course it is influenced by research
done by us and by others.
This is the second article in a series of three. It's all about
Trusted Advisors, the second ingredient we identified that
successful women we have observed over the years all have in
common.
What do I mean by 'Trusted Advisors'?
A while back I did an online course on Positive Psychology with
one of the leaders in the field, Professor Chris Peterson.
One of the executive career coaches who was on the course with me
asked Professor Peterson for his single best piece of advice for
being happy and having well-being in one's life. His answer was to
have good, meaningful relationships with other people.
Makes sense, right? We know the importance of having a good
romantic relationship, good familial relationships, good
friendships, etc, etc. But have you ever stopped to think about
having a different kind of relationship, a relationship that is
career-oriented? This is not about gaining more clients, or
business leads, but instead about having people that you can turn
to when you want a different perspective on life, or advice, or the
ability to tap into someone else's wisdom.
Enter the concept of trusted advisors - people you meet throughout
your life, largely in a professional capacity, for whom you have a
great deal of respect, but who aren't exactly day-to-day
friends.
Invest in finding YOUR Trusted Advisors
We find that while many career women have female friends they've
known since childhood, many of the friends don't understand the
reality of working in large and complex organisations. As a
consequence, the professional women can feel very lonely.
This feeling of loneliness is exacerbated when they work in male
dominated environments, which are very achievement-driven.
Women's desire for deep, meaningful relationships are sometimes
difficult to establish when working under pressure. That's
why we coined the term "trusted advisors" for this context.
Successful women and their Trusted Advisors
When we asked successful women who work in male-dominated
environments for their secrets, one of the key themes that came out
was "keeping it real" and keeping oneself grounded. One very
successful interviewee, who holds a very senior leadership position
in a heavily male-dominated professional services firm, emphasised
that it is important that you don't take yourself too
seriously.
By not taking themselves too seriously and staying connected and
grounded, these women remind themselves what it was like when they
were starting up, which enables them to have empathy and
understanding for other young women starting up in the same
environments. Of course, there is a role here for friends and
family to provide perspective and reality checks.
Where trusted advisors can really add something extra, however,
are those times when successful women feel under pressure and
maybe like they're not good enough. Trusted advisors can help give
them vital perspective by reminding them of their achievements, how
they've handled difficult situations in the past, and how far
they've come. Trusted advisors are also the ones who are most
likely to give tough feedback, which the women take because the
trust and respect is there and there are no ulterior motives.
Where and how can you find your Trusted Advisors?
- At work! It's about being mindful of the people you work
with - they might not be your immediate colleagues but you enjoy
being around them and you have a great deal of respect for
them. Have that coffee with them that you've been planning
to. Don't make excuses, see where the coffee will lead!
- Through new mums networks - many of us turn our noses up at the
idea of those coffee groups. But you'd be amazed to learn the
number of professional women I know who've made some great friends,
and met some great trusted advisors, through those 'mum'
activities. The key is to have an open mind.
- Through Professionelle! The main reason we launched
Professionelle was exactly that - to bring professional women
together to forge these relationships. We keep hearing about
women who met at one of our seminars and have gone on to form
wonderful professional relationships.
- Through experimenting with lots of different networking
organisation and events. Yes, we'd like you to come to us, of
course, but we personally find we meet amazing women who
become our trusted advisors in many places. Just recently I
met the most amazing woman in a networking function who I am sure
will become a trusted advisor - and I hope I will to her.
The next Professionelle events are planned for Christchurch on
the 4th of November,
Auckland in early December and Wellington before the end of the
year.
Take Stock
If you're still not clear, ask yourself, who would you turn to
if you needed a fresh pair of eyes to help you get perspective on a
work situation? If you can rattle off 5 names, that's great, you're
there. But if you can't, then get cracking!