28 March 2011

A Journey into Self Awareness

By Sarah Wilshaw-Sparkes

Development

A bright Friday, a sunny Saturday and a glorious Sunday. Did I spend them in the open air, gardening or swimming or lazing in the dappled shade of our grapevine with a book? No, I spent most of those sun-filled hours in an air-conditioned room, often with the shades drawn, with a group of six other strangers.

What was I doing? It was a three day personal development seminar run by Freefall and the word I would use to sum up this training is cathartic. If Sally Anderson, the owner and lead facilitator of Freefall, doesn't have shares in Kleenex she's missing a trick, because over that long weekend an awful lot of tissues were twisted, shredded and soaked…

A bit of background

Freefall is positioned as personal development that will enable you to move past negative thoughts and behaviours to live, and sustain, an exceptional life with extraordinary relationships. My objective for being there was to get a better sense of what Freefall and Sally Anderson offered, and how our organisations might co-operate. Sally is also an executive and leadership coach.

It's experiential training, where the value comes from what you figure out about yourself rather than from absorbing external knowledge, so I am going to write about it that way - a struggle for someone as cerebrally-oriented as me!

Freefall is running another 3 day Auckland-based seminar in early April. Professionelle members are eligible for a significant discount of $400 off the price of $1595 excl GST.

3 things that worked for me

  1. Learning from listening to others and watching others being coached live. It's so easy to see the speck in someone else's eye - and so hard to see the huge damn beam in your own. But watching your colleagues grapple with their issues can make the parallels with your own ones painfully obvious.
    Specific example: someone else evaded responsibility in life by falling back on an "I lack education so I'm too dumb" routine. Witnessing Sally coaching this person to see that this was their way of avoiding taking positive action made it much easier for me to see how I sometimes do the same with my "I'm not confident enough" number.
  2. New tools for getting out of stuck/negative patterns and moving towards the positive. A powerful, if uncomfortable, thought I have taken away with me is that we always have choice, moment by moment; we can't change anything at any other time than right now. That means that the time to not chew my nails is now… now… I'm some way off having talons but I'm doing pretty well on a habit I've battled for over 40 years.
  3. Some great quotations and stories used at appropriate moments. The one that worked for me, and you may have heard it before, is about the old Cherokee Indian who tells his grandson that inside all people there are two wolves, fighting. One is good and one is bad, and the one who wins is the one you feed. And yes, I've known for a long time that no-one can make us more miserable than we can make ourselves, but a fresh insight I got from the course is this: we feed the things that keep us miserable (miserable = frustrated, anxious, self-debasing etc) because the misery that we know so well is a safe place to be.  Much safer, ironically, than fronting up to the responsibility of being happy.

3 things you should know

  1. You'll have gathered that the basic premise of Freefall is that our fears and our negative scripts hold us back from the extraordinary potential we were born with. Thus the seminar spends a lot of time addressing the negative, for example, revisiting "worst memories" and seeking to make participants aware of unnecessary and unhelpful behaviours that are rooted in the past. It can get a bit gloomy even though the ultimate goal is very positive. As you'll see at the end of this piece, I did get to a hugely useful insight about one of my unhelpful core beliefs, but I wondered if it had to be reached by so tortuous a route. Note - other attendees didn't seem to mind.
  2. Sally's exercises take people to dark places (and she openly shares her own very, very dark places which you can read about here), but to the best of my knowledge she is not a trained psychotherapist.
  3. Unless you opt for Freefall coaching after the seminar there is no follow-up. That means you come out of the intense session inspired, but you're on your own when real life intervenes. I think there's room for some simple actions to boost the sustainability - maybe an automated series of reminder emails about exercises and insights.

Who might benefit?

There's no "one size fits all" with any training. I suggest Freefall's training might be for you if:

  • You read the Freefall seminar description and it really speaks to you (the language is a bit woo-woo for me). Sally suggests that most people feel 'called' to the course, and drawn by their intuition.
  • You're looking for new lenses on yourself and you are up for an experiential, right brain, "being" approach. By contrast you're not looking for an analytical, from-A-to-B, left brain prescription that will add things to your to-do list.
  • You're deeply dissatisfied with aspects of your life but you can't find the time to "deal with it all" - this seminar will definitely carve out that essential time for you. (Of course, so will other intensive courses!) I do think if you have a burning platform you will get more from this course, and you'll be faster to reach the tipping point where you commit to do things more positively in the future.
  • You're prepared to be vulnerable and to respect others in the same state.

Bottom Line

Did the training deliver for me? Yes.

Though I had no immediately burning platform, I still wanted to make the most of investing my time. I therefore really committed myself to participating fully and I set myself the goal of finding a positive inner voice: a big call, as this is something I have always lacked.

Freefall delivered for me on this not because of any specific exercise or framework but because it gave me three days' space to think about me - and a supportive environment to do it in, one in which everyone was vulnerable. I know I wasn't alone in spending hours lying awake at night mulling things over and over…

Output for Insecure Overachievers

Mid-course, I had a flash of intuition about a core belief that was truly getting in my way. (Need I say I was at first loathe to even listen to it?!) Twelve hours after the end of the seminar though, lying in bed, thinking and thinking once more, I finally wrestled the insight and its implications into coherent shape. And, to make sure it stuck, I wrote it up as a little presentation when I got up later that morning…

Calling all you insecure overachievers in Professionelle-land, and those of you who suffer from the Imposter Syndrome too… oh, I know you're there! You might find something useful in where I got to with my schema (ie my "structured cluster of preconceived ideas"). It will only take you 20 seconds to read.

Logistics

The seminar is held in a peaceful, secluded, no-cell-phone-signal valley outside Albany. The food is good and the animals (donkeys, ducks and a kunekune pig) are all friendly. It's not a live-in course, but you can book to stay in the Lodge's accommodation if you want, for an extra charge.

Last thought

We often write book reviews, but this is a training review. Maybe you have your own training experiences to contribute in an article for us and all our Professionelle readers?

Comments (3)

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  • Monday, 28 March 2011, 07:54p.m. by Kathryn Jackson

    “LOVE IT! Sarah this is such a great article, and I most particularly like your presentation (what a snazzy tool!). There are some really interesting thought-bytes that resonate, as I'm sure there will be for many Professionelles - thank you for being so open and candid and honest. You are and have always been an inspiration - I hope that is something heard by your inner voice xx”

  • Tuesday, 29 March 2011, 07:57a.m. by Sarah

    “Thanks for your generous comment, Kathryn. I assure you I'm listening - praise from those whom I respect is my favourite thing!”

  • Wednesday, 06 April 2011, 02:36p.m. by Sharon Manssen

    “Thanks Sarah, but there's so much in there, I need to think about it a bit!! The thing that really struck me is how our own approval counts for zilch if we don't have someone else's (who we respect).”

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