Some of you may have read in my article on 'Values and why
people behave the way they do' that I am dealing with a
serious, life threatening illness. The great news is that
now, four months down the track, four chemo treatments and four
steroids infusions later, as well having been dosed with countless
other drugs, I am responding exceptionally well to the treatment
and the prognosis is extremely positive.
Throughout this period I have continued to work. I decided not to
put everything on hold but to mindfully continue to be a
professional woman, continue to be engaged in 'life' and continue,
well, yes, to earn money as well.
In fact my amazing specialist early on told me that my challenge
as a high achieving woman would be to manage it all. I have since
gathered that most patients in situations similar to mine did
choose to 'hop off the train' and concentrate on getting through
the treatments, mostly because they have suffered organ damage -
whereas I have been very lucky to have been diagnosed before any
internal organ damage occurred. And so what I have had to
deal with have been the side-effects of the treatments and the
nerve damage that I did suffer from the disease.
Four months on, it seems my decision has been a wise one as I am
making very positive progress and responding exceptionally well to
the treatment. I didn't choose lightly to continue to work; I
gave it loads of thought and I have been very deliberate and
mindful about the kind of work I do Physically, I am also
able to work because I don't have organ damage. On my good days I
don't even look sick! I have Chemo once a month - any more
than that and I couldn't have handled it. So it has been a
case of a workload that I can just manage, and the choice was to
either do that work - with all that it entailed - or focus solely
on getting through the treatments.
Why choose to work?
The really simple answer is that I didn't want to define myself
as a 'sick' person. To me, part of the mind-body thing is not
to pigeon hole myself as 'sick' even though I am, if that makes
sense. I also find that when I work and engage with people on
topics other than my health - I tend to forget I am sick or that I
am having all these ghastly treatments - which is a really nice
feeling.
Keeping my brain engaged, interacting with people on topics other
than my health, having reasons to get tarted up and go out (or stay
in - but still engage my brain professionally) all seemed like
really good reasons for working. And not the very least, my
professional identity is such an integral part of my overall
identity; I simply couldn't give it all up just like that to focus
on being sick!
Choosing the right work
However, I am honest with myself, I am sick, I tire easily and
still suffer from painful nerve damage in my legs,. So, I
wanted to make sure that the work I choose to do will energise me -
and to be sufficiently aware to avoid work that will drain me.
Luckily, I have been working with Positive Psychology for the last
four years so I had the tools at my finger tips to help me
determine which work would be 'healthy' for me. This is
because Positive Psychology is uniquely helpful in determining the
kind of work that will give each of us the most well being, charge
our batteries and provide us with the most opportunities to
experience flow.
Through knowing what my Signature Strengths are (perspective,
judgement, critical thinking and open-mindedness, curiosity and
interest in the world, social intelligence and gratitude) and
combining those with my strong preference for the 'Meaningful
Life', I quickly determined that I would continue with my Executive
Coaching. I thoroughly enjoy my coaching clients and
the work I do with them. I also wanted to keep doing workshops on
topics I found meaningful and exciting.
Managing it
The coaching work has proved to be hugely rewarding. All
my clients know of my health issues and have been especially
understanding. I also had to learn my own limitations, which
was hard. From being able to have three two hour coaching
sessions a day, I learnt that I can now only manage three coaching
sessions a week - and only on the two weeks in a month when I don't
have treatments…
I have had to self-monitor very carefully to make sure I do
leverage the flow and positive energy I get from the coaching
sessions (and I do check with my clients to make sure they benefit
as well…). That means not squandering the flow by overloading
myself with meetings and coffees on those coaching days to the
point I become exhausted. Coaching has remained a hugely
rewarding thing to do which allows me to use all my signature
strengths. And I have now added a new technique I learnt
online which allows me to use gratitude as well - before each
coaching session I take time to think about all the things I like
about the client. A highly recommended exercise for fellow
coaches!
From an extrovert to an introvert
There have been some hard-won realisations. The hardest
one is that at the moment I can no longer deliver workshops.
Normally, I LOVE facilitating workshops, I am an extrovert and get
a huge amount of flow and positive energy doing workshops,
especially Professionelle ones as the room is always full of such
wonderful warm and intelligent women. Workshop facilitation
is a core part of my personal brand and what I offer my clients.
But now I get too exhausted and drained once I do them. I had to
take a hard look at myself and admit to myself that at the moment,
delivering workshops drains me more than it energises me and
therefore until I am well, I shouldn't do any more.
This was hard. Sarah and I had planned to do a series on
Self-Awareness in Auckland, which I was really excited about.
But after my third Chemo session I realised that I now have to
knuckle down and get through the rest of the treatments and be very
disciplined on doing only work that leaves me energised. We
will do the series, but only when I am well and able.
I also realised that I, the extroverted networking queen, now find
big social group situations very draining. All these changes
in my preferences and ability to handle various situations can be
quite unsettling but also have taught me a huge amount. As my
good friend said - I now know how all the introverts feel about
these things!
The future
My hospital treatments will finish at the end of April. I will
than be on supplementary oral medication for the foreseeable
future. My specialist says it will take me a month to
recover and that I should feel orders of magnitude better than I do
now. I am going to wait and see and direct my attention to
keep up with everything I am doing so that I recover as well as
possible.
Some final thoughts
I am lucky to be able to manage my workflows. I work for myself
and I am not the main income earner so the pressure is off. I
fully realise that many others are not in this position. But,
what I do think now is that the exercise of consciously
thinking about the work we do - being honest about what energises
us and what drains us - is valuable at any stage, not only when we
are forced to in situations like mine.
I do believe that in any work situation we can take some time out
to identify the work that energises us and try to do more of it -
as well as find ways to manage and even let go of work that drains
us. My hardest won lesson is that you never know what's
around the corner and when you'll need every ounce of energy you
can get.
Resources for you
If I've got you thinking and you'd like to spend some time
figuring out the kind of work that will energise you, here are my
most recommended resources to get you started.
First, Professor Martin Seligman's Academic website has an
impressive range of online free tests you could do to find out your
strengths, work-life balance status as well as the type of life you
value. The tests are best interpreted with his book Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive
Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting
Fulfillment.
Second, The VIA Institute is solely dedicated
to the research and disseminating of information about Signature
Strengths. Here you can get a paid-for in-depth Signature
Strengths report to really help you understand the meaning of your
results. They provide many practical and helpful ideas about
how you could use your strengths more in your life.