15 January 2009

A Springboard to Success (and Sanity)

By Julie Mulcahy and Debbie Knowles

Julie begins:

Springboardnz grew out of a growing awareness that while parents could often identify the problems, they didn't know where to go or who to see for the right kind of help. Our brochures say that Springboardnz is a referral company for learning or behavior problems, but the reality is that people come to us with a very wide range of problems.

Listening to Lives

The first thing we do is listen. We need to hear exactly what the changes are that our clients want to see for their children and in their own lives. It is a real privilege to be allowed this insight; every story is so different and has its own pathway to take. Often, the longer we listen, the more other issues emerge. The child with a learning disorder may be being bullied at school, or grieving her parents' marriage break up. Lives begin to open up.

The next stage is to think about what kinds of support will work; small groups, people coming into their home, a mentor, hands-on learning or maybe a series of workshops? Do they prefer a holistic approach or a highly trained specialist instead?

Pinpointing Providers

We meet clients wherever they are comfy - their own homes or places we consult from, like Parents Inc in Greenlane. We aim to produce a tailored support plan. There are many providers to choose from but our task is to find the one who will work for that particular individual. We also consider how well the services will fit with what they've told us about their budget or lifestyle.

The only way to find out is for us to get on the phone and talk to potential providers. We explore exactly what each offers, what they charge, and if they have a waiting list. Even if they are not the answer, they nearly always tell us about someone else who may be. We often feel like detectives! One link leads us to the next, and so our database grows.

The Other Side

Occasionally, we remember why we love doing what we do. We have both experienced what it's like to be on the 'other side'. You know? That ghastly place where everyone else's lives seem to run smoothly and your own feels immensely complex, with no-one able to help. Memories and lessons from these times go deep for both of us.

My first hand experience began when one of my daughters suffered a head injury. Sylvia was twelve years old. My laid back little socialite disappeared and left behind a girl who couldn't sleep, had a permanent headache and flew into frightening rages. Troubles rarely come singly, and on top of this, I was recovering from a back operation and battling erratic ACC payments that left us scrabbling to cover bills. Then my parents had a terrible car accident that left them in hospital for long months.

No sooner did I return to my job as a Resource Teacher for students with Learning & Behaviour problems than my swollen leg turned out to be caused not by a blood clot but by… child number four who was on his way to join his three teenage siblings - ready or not!

Over the next seven years I often felt pushed to the limit. Sylvia was not coping at school and was deeply unhappy.

Finding Help That Fits

My work as a Resource Teacher made me aware of the many services available, but now, as a parent, I was to find out how important it was to find the right people for our daughter.

We had a crash course in neurologists, psychologists, psycho neurologists, doctors and specialists of all kinds, not forgetting a wide range of alternative practitioners. I learnt that second to the actual skills the specialists possessed, was their ability to connect to our girl. We had to find people who worked in a way she liked, otherwise it was a waste of everyone's time. Thankfully, the services that did work for us saved our sanity: they gave us hope, help and a life to look forward to.

I bring that hard earned knowledge and skill into my work with clients at Springboardnz. I truly know what's at stake for them.

Buried Problems Mean Deferred Solutions

Debbie picks up the thread:

Springboardnz means so much to me personally because my life has taught me the importance of talking about things and trying to bring about changes in your life, no matter how small. As a child of a Holocaust refugee, I was brought up in the 1950s when almost everyone was 'starting again' and 'forgetting the past'. But in the end, the terrible events in Europe had terrible consequences within many survivor families out here. I know from my own family that if problems aren't talked about, they go underground, disguise themselves and often become something much worse.

In 2003, I edited a book called Mixed Blessings, a collection of memories and favourite family recipes from other children of Holocaust survivors. One of the most rewarding things about this book was the many comments I received from people with apparently very different backgrounds to mine. These individuals had, however, suffered some trauma in their childhood. Our book spoke to them: they recognized the silences and the toxic results of the unspoken problem on their family dynamics. It seems to be something many people have to deal with.

I believe the first step is to acknowledge the problem and then to believe that change can happen. This is one of the most important ideas that motivates me to commit wholeheartedly to our business.

A Guide to Secondary Schools

As well as their referral service, Debbie and Julie wrote a book described as "an easy read book on how NZ secondary schools actually work" to share their knowledge and experience with as wide an audience as possible. What You Need to Know Before Your Child Starts Secondary School offers practical advice and support on topics from choosing a suitable secondary school through how the assessment systems work and on to issues like pastoral care and support for special needs. Julie says she loves the book because it can change peoples' ability to support their children effectively in the complex world of secondary school.

A Meaningful Life

"Do we make a huge amount of money?" asks Debbie. "That's another matter! However, I was hugely inspired by Supriya Rathod's article for Professionelle, called 'Spiritual Journeys'. I especially loved her quotation: "Money is incidental to doing what you are meant to do." That about sums us up… as yet the money is "incidental" but certainly we both feel we are doing what we are meant to be doing, and that's hard to beat."

Julie echoes this theme of Springboardnz bringing meaning to her life:

I see life as a journey of self awareness and a process of change. Everything that happens is an opportunity to grow and know yourself a little more.

I know that it is the little things that really matter - good intent, a smile, a genuine interest in the life of another. It's important to be willing to walk alongside another, to offer practical support and to really listen to their story. I hope this is what we achieve in Springboardnz.

Acknowledgement

Debbie Knowles and Julie Mulcahy are the consultants for Springboardnz, a referral agency. Springboardnz offers personal consultations in the Auckland region and consults by email throughout New Zealand. After an initial interview, clients receive a personalised plan detailing the relevant services available to them. We personally contact all recommended services and set up appointments on request.

 

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