There is a saying:
Just because you feel guilty, doesn't mean you are guilty.
That's the most important bit of information that any working
mother needs to know.
Guilt is a word that constantly pops up in conversation when we
support mothers returning to work. Feeling guilty, or
managing guilt tends to be a recurring theme for mothers as one of
the biggest stressors they have when working.
If you know that going back to work after having children is the
right decision for you and your family, then the choice you have
made is the right one at the time. The key thing to remember is
even mums who are confident in their decision to return to work,
still struggle with working mum's guilt.
If you are sometimes struggle to manage your working mum's guilt,
here are 4 tips to help you.
Exercise
Many mothers we work with, suggest exercise as a way to
de-stress. This may be walking, running, gym class, bootcamp
or yoga. Be realistic and use your time wisely. Choose
one night a week, one lunch time or one morning where you can take
a 30 minute walk or join a class. Start off slow and build up if it
works for you.
Take time for you
If your needs aren't met you won't be able to meet the needs of
those that need you most. Taking time out may be reading a
book, having your own quiet time, sleeping or re-engaging in a past
hobby you once enjoyed. Guilt is often reflected by dropping
time and activities for yourself, so it is important to ensure you
have time to quieten your mind, by going to bed 30 minutes earlier
or 30 minutes before everyone wakes in the morning, to enjoy your
morning shower and coffee in peace.
Manage your expectations and delegate
You can't be all things to all people. Once you can understand
your limitations, you're better able to manage your expectations.
Perhaps you can't help out every week in your child's classroom,
but you may be able to assist the teacher in other ways. Perhaps
you can't make every weekly 6pm meeting, but you can make once a
month.
Delegate tasks to others when you can. Perhaps you can't afford to
hire a full-time housekeeper, but you can afford to have someone
come in once a week to do the ironing. Consider what tasks you can
delegate to others so you can have more time for your family when
you return home from the office.
Ensure you have quality childcare
Knowing that your children are in the best hands while you're at
work will give you the confidence you need to be productive while
you're away. Take time to get to know who is caring for your
children and build a relationship with your child care
provider.
The truth is all mothers whether employed or not, will at some
time or another experience mother's guilt. The key is to manage it
so that you can evaluate your choices based on what is best for you
and your family.
Acknowledgement
Altris is all about releasing potential.
Releasing the potential of you, your employees and the untapped
potential in your business. Altris is New Zealand's premier
executive coaching group, who specifically focus on transition
coaching. At Altris we aim to make a difference to you and your
business as a way of making a difference to New Zealand as a whole.
We think that makes us a little different and are sure you will
too.