Professionelle Blog Archive
22 March 2009
Gen Y Up Close & Friendly
We have two houseguests from the UK with us, aged 22, both recent University grads. One is the daughter of very old, dear friends and the other is the daughter’s best friend. I wondered what to expect from this Gen Y invasion. Self obsessed, short attention span, seen-it-all on YouTube, with that much-talked-of, unwarranted air of entitlement?
Of course, I meet the odd Gen Y through the Boston Consulting Group, but if you’ll forgive me saying it, BCG hires are probably not the average. I know others through emailing on Professionelle matters but rarely meet them in person.
I have to tell you that these two young English women have been such a pleasure to have around. Resourceful, flexible, appreciative, curious, self-starting... They’re goal driven, too. It’s five years or more since they planned to travel the world together but agreed they wouldn’t be ready until after University. Now, having worked hard for nine months after graduating they are two weeks into a five month world tour.
Both are clear about the kinds of work they want when they return but neither expects the plum job to fall into her lap. I did hear them discuss the pointlessness of expensive commuting into London to work at jobs that don’t repay the daily investment. I hear local mums saying as much about childcare. That’s not entitlement in my book, it’s pragmatism.
In short, if these two are at all representative of their ilk, I reckon the world is in pretty good hands. I’d hire them in a flash.
Sarah
15 March 2009
A Passion for Professionelle
As Sarah blogged below, on the 12th Professionelle turned two. It has been quite a ride. Speaking for myself, I have learned so much. There are things I thought would work and did, and others which didn’t. I certainly learned a hell of a lot about what works for professional women which is exactly what we hoped for! And I've met the most amazing women on the way, some of whom have become firm friends and supporters.
I am currently doing an eight week Positive Psychology online course through an amazing website for all you coaches and psychologists out there called Mentor Coach. The course is with one of the leading lights in the Positive Psychology field, Professor Chris Peterson. As I was listening to the latest lecture it dawned on me just why I find Professionelle so fulfilling, why it doesn’t really feel like work.
It is all about passion you see. Not just the happy kind, full of positive emotions like zest and enthusiasm that we tend to think about today when considering passion in the context of work. You see, there’s much more to passion for work than this. In his lecture, Professor Peterson talked about two elements of passion for work, which fit how I feel about Professionelle perfectly.
One of Professor Peterson’s other students pointed out that passion for work has an intellectual component. Passion is regarding your work as meaningful, and is not just about having a zest, enthusiasm and strong interest in something (like scrabble or sports). The work has to have inherent meaning for us. The student also pointed out that the etymological origins of the word implied enduring suffering for whatever you felt passionate about. Of course in the context of today’s world this is particularly interesting; if we really are passionate about what we do, what are we willing to endure and sacrifice for our work?
Well, for me Professionelle fits both. I am passionate about finding out what works for professional women and how we can help you successfully negotiate all the challenging aspects of your lives. And I am willing to give up my evenings of reading/watching crap TV to sit at my computer and blog, and write articles and e-mail all of you who contact us.
And you know what? When you deeply believe in something, it doesn’t feel like sacrifice at all, it feels like a privilege.
Galia
12 March 2009
Two Years Old!
It's about 8pm as I type this. I can still remember how, exactly two years ago, we began sending off introductory emails about Professionelle to friends, family and colleagues. We had the site loaded up with about fifteen feature and Ask the Expert articles and we were ready to go. We'd built it. Would you come?
You did - twenty four months on we have almost 1500 members, and we've met a host of fascinating, capable and action-oriented professional women. Of course, we're delighted to know that we have helped a number of you make connections among yourselves, too. That's an important part of Professionelle and to this day I believe there's no online community like ours anywhere (let me know if you've found any though).
For those of you who've been with us since the beginning, thank you for staying with us and sharing your thoughts and advice. For those of you who've only recently discovered Professionelle, welcome along. We look forward to writing many more of these birthday notes.
Maybe we should be out celebrating with our husbands tonight ... but the truth is that one of us has a child recovering from a virus and another has to do a 9pm run to the Scout Den. Welcome to the world of the modern professional women with kids!
Sarah
6th March 2009
The Interconnectedness of Everything
No, this has nothing to do with one of Montessori education’s major themes, which goes by the name of this blog’s title. Instead, I want to talk about some odd little things that have happened recently. They are closer to Supriya’s recent article on Intuition than most things on this site.
I wrote in this blog about a remarkable coincidence I had in January, when I boarded a plane in Dunedin only to find a person I needed to interview for the project (but hadn’t yet contacted) assigned the seat next to me. Since then it’s as if I’ve plugged into a stream of minor coincidences. I’ve started keeping a list of them.
For example, I received an invitation in early Feb to a workshop being run by the Ministry of Women’s Affairs (its aim: to create a women’s perspective to share at the recent Jobs Summit). The Ministry circulated attendees’ names but omitted their organisations. Researching these, I got stuck on Joan Withers and Fairfax Media, trying to work out the company’s position on the NZX and why Joan wasn’t on my list of NZX women CEOs. Later that day, a business contact I’d not heard from in years rang. He reminded me in passing that he’d left the place I’d known him at to work for Fairfax.
At the MWA’s workshop, one book - and only one - got mentioned. It was Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell. I’d borrowed it from the local library two days earlier.
A new member, I’ll call her Jane, registered. Later that day I visited a Europe-based forum that discusses how to research and market events. It was new to me and I’d not posted anything to identify myself or Professionelle. The first new post I saw was from... Jane.
Another new member registered yesterday morning (yes, the registrations come in steadily, without us doing any active marketing, about two each working day). This new member worked for "HealthCo". I visited the Dept of Labour’s site in the afternoon to check the latest research on work-life balance. The first case study I opened was drawn from - who else but - HealthCo!
I can’t see any deep meaning in these coincidences per se. Nothing like Jung seeing the symbol of rebirth in his patient’s scarab beetle dream and the coincident rare appearance of a scarab beetle at his office window as his patient talked. If my little coincidences are meant to indicate the usefulness of the book, the forum, the case study, or even the people connected with them, I feel I’m missing the cosmic nudge.
But maybe it’s not about content of the connections. Maybe it’s just about the connections. If everything really is connected, then that could be the meaning. Can more enlightened beings enlighten me?
Sarah
19 February 2009
Professionelle Savouring.
Following up on Sarah’s blog below. Yes, Monday (which now seems like a life time ago) was our first facilitated networking event. It was a wonderful morning and I personally got a huge amount from it. Yes, I am planning on developing a questionnaire but no, I will not be telling you yet what it will be about, you’ll have to wait for the article with all the learnings.
What I did want to blog about is how I used the breakfast to boost my overall well-being both professionally and personally. I have two children, a husband, Professionelle and other business interests as well as voluntary governance work. So my life, like many of your lives, can be challenging at times.
One of the things I read a lot about in Positive Psychology (and I am now doing an eight week online course in the subject as well, but more on that later) is the art of savouring. Savouring is about really cherishing an experience while you are in it, so you can ‘bring it up’ at a later stage to maximise your wellbeing. I have been practising it for a while, taking mental photos in my head of wonderful times with my family, as I experience them, and than bringing them up when I feel stressed.
But what I read recently in a great book on positive psychology coaching (I’ll try to review it for you), is how to apply it professionally. And the idea is really simple: when you know you are going to have a good professional experience, like giving a presentation you are really happy with, or a session with a client you really like, visualise it BEFORE it happens, try and picture what it will feel like. Really visualise it, imagine you are there and what you are thinking and feeling. Then, while you are in the experience, stop to take that mental short ‘film-clip’. Look around and take it all in, try and see what people are wearing, internalise the looks on their faces. It doesn’t take long, but you really need to consciously do it. And after it has finished, ‘play-back’ the experience, be in that room, see who’s there, feel what you felt. That way, you get three bites of the cherry – you increase the effects of the positive experience three fold.
So that’s exactly what I did with the breakfast. The night before, together with some anxiety about it – how it would work, will it be a success, I did try and picture it working and being successful. During the event, I made a point to marvel to myself on how the room was full of all these amazing women, all so articulate, open and friendly. And now, as I go about my daily and somewhat stressful day, I stop and think back and remind myself, that it was the work that Sarah and I put into Professionelle that made it happen.
And it works. Try it.
Galia
17 February 2009
Mentoring Morning
Yesterday we held the first of our facilitated networking breakfasts in downtown Auckland. Fifty women, ninety minutes, six big tables, and all focused on Mentoring. We got a lot out of it, and the feedback we received showed our guests did too:
I just wanted to say that I think you and Galia are doing a great thing by providing these opportunities for professional women to meet and mingle. I enjoyed the event and hope to attend one again soon.
I had a really enlightening morning and came back to the Office to tell our Team all about my new knowledge of mentoring!
In this new format, we bring women together to discuss a meaty topic that relates to an aspect of career development. After an initial talk by us on the topic, women discuss related questions at their tables, and later report back to the wider group. In these conversations they have an opportunity to connect in a meaningful way, and to learn from each other. And we learn from all of them...
Yesterday, I started taking notes during the report-back and I plan to put the points together in an article for the site. It’s very exciting to be able to tap into the collective wisdom in this kind of gathering and then be able to feed it forward to the wider community on the site.
While listening to the report-backs, Galia also had an idea about developing a questionnaire that would help women in mentoring. Her idea is to test the eventual draft with the women at yesterday’s breakfast.
Our next breakfast, on April 3rd, is on the topic of Work-Life Balance. It’s a challenging one and I’m looking forward to hearing and sharing new and innovative angles. We’ll be holding it in the Quay West Suites on Albert Street again. The Mentoring breakfast sold out two weeks before the event, and we know a few people were disappointed. Get your bookings for April in fast!
Sarah
1 February 2009
Meaningful coincidence
A weird thing happened a few days ago. I was flying around New Zealand, interviewing branch managers for a retail project I’m on. Part of the brief was also to look at other retail models and I had a list of must-do talks I needed to set up with past clients and contacts in other businesses. With the workload of setting up the branch manager talks I was a bit behind on that second list.
I boarded a flight from Dunedin to Christchurch and headed for seat 3A. Imagine my amazement to find one of the key contacts from that second list sitting in seat 3B. I hadn’t seen him in over two years, though I’d often meant to call him. And here he was, right next to me, captive for 45 precious minutes! He very graciously answered my bombardment of questions and now I happily owe him a big favour. Interestingly, he also mentioned how rarely he travels nowadays and that this trip was his first outside his usual Wellington-Auckland commute for a long time.
You can shrug and call it all a coincidence. You can say that people I know cross my path every day and I simply don’t spot them. In psychology and cognitive science, they write about confirmation bias which is the tendency to interpret new information in a way that confirms one’s preconceptions and avoids information and interpretations that contradict prior beliefs. Perhaps they’re right.
What I know is that this chance meeting, so full of immediate relevance to me, made me feel energised and not a little awestruck. Several days on, its positive effect still lingers. Somehow, I feel more connected to everything.
In another age, I might have called it a blessing.
Sarah
22 January 2009
Manageable chunks and no meetings….
School holidays are nearly over! I have been pretty much full time mothering my seven year old and four and a half year old ever since we’ve come back from holiday, and trying to somehow squeeze work in between. And it has been amazing how much work there has been. It seems that all the hard work of establishing the Professionelle brand is now starting to pay off with quite a few potential leads coming through this year.
I also have my other commitments and I thought it would be really tough juggling it all together. But I think I have it under control now. I’ve had my mother in law staying and she’s a great help, so that’s been fantastic to buy me an hour here and there. And I’ve also finally managed to break my tasks down into manageable chunks. I think this is the real trick for me, decide to undertake something, break it into manageable chunks, achieve those and actually deliver on what I undertook to deliver!
The other thing that has really helped is that I have had virtually no meetings. And this was by design, trying not to over load this time of year. It is amazing how much you get done if you don’t have to attend endless meetings. So my recipe for surviving the holidays and achieving work deliverables is a bit of help + manageable chunks + no meetings.
Now we’ll have to see if I can replicate this in the next school holidays.
Galia
15 January 2009
Not trying sooo hard
We’ve had an amazing break over the holiday. We really did chill and the whole family had a great time. There were many things that helped like the fabulous location where we stayed with family, the fact that the weather was great and also that everyone got on really well.
But there was something else that I think helped a lot. We went with the flow, did what worked for us and we (well I) didn’t try so hard.
I am a type A personality and, let's face it, I know I come across as pretty driven and full on. I was also brought up in a culture where trying hard all the time was extremely important and constantly reinforced. So I always did try and worked hard at EVERYTHING, university, family, friends even holidays! I had a plan for every day on holiday ‘cause otherwise you’ll end up to just wasting time (yes, I now realise that this is exactly the point of an holiday sometimes!).
But, if many years of practising yoga has taught me anything, is that sometimes not trying so hard and easing back will yield much better outcomes than constantly pushing yourself. Well, it worked with my yoga and now it also worked with my holiday! Everything I hoped for in this holiday happened. I didn’t push hard but tried to be as accommodating and flexible as possible... and it worked!
So this year, I will try to find ways to bring the same approach to other areas of my life. And you know what, it might not be as hard as it sounds!
Galia
1 January 2009
The Best is Yet to Come
It's that time of year again, to take stock, and to reflect. What did you achieve in 2008? Maybe you had a major book published. Or broke a world record. Perhaps you devised a new dominant paradigm for your field of endeavour. No? Nothing like that? Oh dear (me neither). But before you give up, let me share one of the more intriguing ideas I tripped across in 2008.
It's a discovery about genius uncovered a few years ago by an economic historian, David Galenson, at Chicago University's Economics faculty. In 1997, his purchase of a small piece of modern art, and the advice he received on how to assess its worth, led him to examine the auction prices of art across an artist's life. He extended the assessment to old masters by counting how often their works were reproduced in textbooks - an 'importance' measure akin to Google's page ranking.
He found two distinct patterns. One group of artists produced their most highly prized work young. Nothing they did thereafter approached the prices or admiration of their early output. The other group peaked much later after a life of experimentation, tinkering, refinement. The pattern held for artists, writers, architects, film directors and more. For the early achievers ("conceptual innovators") think Orson Welles, aged 26 making Citizen Kane, or F. Scott Fitzgerald aged 29 penning The Great Gatsby. By contrast, the late bloomers ("experimental innovators") include Alfred Hitchock, who was 59 when he made Vertigo, and Mark Twain, who had turned 50 when he wrote Huckeleberry Finn.
My point is this: if you're past 30 and you haven't yet created A Marriage of Figaro, or a timeless design like Fallingwater, don't despair. If the young conceptualists have whizzed past you in 2008, leaving you feel leaden-footed, don't stop. If you keep practising, experimenting, and relentlessly exercising your "what if?" muscle, maybe 2009 will be the year in which you break through to your own work of breathtaking genius. The door is open.
And if you're under 30, let your conceptual innovations rip. In 2009, we need all the bright ideas we can get!
Sarah
22 December 2008
New Habits versus New Year Resolutions
This will be my last blog entry for 2008. We’re off to the beach tomorrow and I fully intend to take it easy for at least a little while. This year has certainly been full on in many ways.
But I did want to share something with you. Earlier this year I attended Sydney’s Happiness Conference. One of the speakers was Tal Ben Shahar, whose book ‘Happiness’ was reviewed by Sarah on Professionelle.
Tal was an excellent presenter and if you ever have a chance I highly recommend seeing him. Many months later, the one thing he talked about that has really stuck with me was setting out to create new habits as opposed to making resolutions.
What this means, in a nutshell, is that rather than trying to make grand New Year resolutions like losing weight, becoming less stressed etc, it is muchmore effective to commit to introducing a new habit. The thing about habits is that once you’ve got them, you don’t really need to think about them. We brush our teeth in the morning, we just do it, it’s a habit. Being Jewish, we have a sit down home-cooked family meal every Friday night. Some of my non-Jewish friends are amazed that I have the energy to do it at the end of the week, but the truth is it’s such a habit that I never actually have to think about it, I just do it…
Tal says that it takes about 2-3 months to create a habit. In the beginning it's hard, but than it just becomes something you do. Ideally, you can introduce 1 or 2 habits at a time. Instead of saying ‘I am going to get fit’ you say to yourself 'I am going to start a new habit of walking for a 30 minutes 3 times a week on Mondays, Thursdays and Saturday mornings.' It will require effort for the first 2-3 months, but then it will become a habit and you won’t need to think about it!
And what about me? I am not making any New Year resolutions. I will be thinking about what new habits I want to create for myself. I think one of them might be not checking e-mail for a couple of hours once I've picked my kids up from school so I can really enjoy them and savour the time I spend with them. I've noticed I have been feeling very stretched and not able to savour my kids over the last couple of months, as I've found myself unable to resist the call of my I-Phone!
So here’s to habits, I hope you create some for you and I’d love to hear about them.
Best wishes and happy holidays to you all!
Galia.
19 December
Three Pohutukawas
I swear this week has been my busiest of the year. A consulting case has started, there are still some Christmas cards and gifts to be organised, catering to be considered, and we have had a number of important tasks on Professionelle - like meeting potential clients and discussing website development.
I've arrived early into the office and am sitting at my desk under a lithograph I first saw when I started work in NZ in the spring of '89. It's called Northern Summer (by Harold Coop) and back then it made no sense at all to me. The twisted trunk, the shaggy clumps of green foliage and the puzzling smears of red on top of them that spoke to me of tomato ketchup... A few months later, I understood perfectly, and the pohutukawa and this picture have been firm favourites ever since.
As I left home, I passed our neighbour's pohutukawa. It's at its absolute peak - almost every flower open but none of the needles dropping to carpet the street yet. It was framed by a blue sky and the morning sun toned the blood red down to a vermilion. In positive psychology terms it was a moment for savouring. I rather think I'll need it to sustain me through the busy morning ahead.
The third pohutukawa will be appearing on this site very soon. It's the centrepiece of an animated christmas card I've been painstakingly constructing over the last month or so. I found the photo on Flickr, and was amused to see it was taken at Long Bay, which is my local beach. I thought the scene looked a bit familiar! The card is on YouTube already, just search for Professionelle. I hope it makes you smile.
This could be my last blog for the year. Best wishes to you all for a safe and happy holiday. See you in 2009!
Sarah
10 December
Working hard at being serene
Last weekend, at a birthday party, one of the dads commented to me that ‘ you always look so serene. What’s your secret?’
I never think of myself as being serene, far from it. But I do work hard at keeping things under control and not letting them get on top of me. So my reply was ‘I work really hard at it!’
My life, like everyone’s life, is really full, with two small children, a husband, business interests and being on two NFP boards. But now, unlike how I used to be, I do feel a lot more on top of life. I try to practise what I preach and I use Positive Psychology extensively in my own life. When I do feel like things are getting a bit much, I start doing the 3 Good Things exercise religiously every night. I also do yoga regularly, which brings me a huge amount of calmness and a feeling of being in control.
But I think that what has been the most instrumental in changing the way I am has been knowing my own boundaries and when to say ‘no’. That can be a 'no' to work, which is not quite right, or to friends who aren’t quite right. I don’t feel like I have to please all the people all the time. Pleasing some of the people, mostly my closest and dearest, most of the time, will do for me!
Happy holidays everyone.
Galia
2 December 2008
Keeping it simple
This has been niggling at the back of mind for a while. I am an avid news consumer; it might have something to do with being Israeli. I was raised constantly listening to the news and current affairs.
Recently, it has all been a bit depressing really with the world economic slow down, dire statistics on business confidence and low consumer spending in the lead up to Christmas constantly being reinforced, regurgitated and whinged about in the mainstream media.
But I am observing that something else is happening. People are opting for simpler ways of entertaining, they are still getting together, but perhaps rather than going out to fancy restaurants, they’re having more impromptu bring-a-plate type gatherings.
It has always been my view that Kiwis like keeping things simple, working in the garden on the weekend, going down to the beach with a simple picnic and hanging out with friends at a pot-luck dinner. That’s the New Zealand I experienced for many years (and I have been here for 15).
In the last few years, it felt like the whole keeping up with Jones’s mentality had taken hold. I observed many people feeling like they had to keep up with consuming, designer gear, and fancy cars... you know what I mean. So my observation now is that it is almost like there’s a collective sigh of relief that it is OK to do simple things again and enjoy them.
I am fully aware that times are tough. Everyone I know including myself and my family are making cuts. But I must say I am really enjoying being able to do the simple things I like and not feeling like I have to apologise for being ‘tight’!
Galia
27th November
And an Even Better Weekend!
Val Leveson's wonderful piece on Professionelle appeared on the front page of the Weekend Herald Jobs section last Saturday. We are really grateful to her for both her time and her genuine interest in what we are working to build.
The positive way Val described our approach and objectives definitely struck a chord with New Zealand's professional working women. By the time I tumbled far enough out of bed on Saturday morning to see my laptop screen, three new registrations had already pinged into my Inbox. And they kept coming.
And coming.
And coming.
By Monday night, my fingers were worn to stumps with all the registrations so I passed the task over to Galia. By Wednesday we had, in her words, "blitzed through to 1300 members." That's nearly 100 in under a week, our highest response ever. Wow!
Our thanks again to Val for a great piece and a warm welcome to our new members!
Sarah
21st November
A Good Week
If you've attended our Wellbeing at Work workshops or read some of the Positive Psychology articles on this site, you'll have heard about the Three Good Things. It's a simple but powerful exercise to retrain your brain to focus on the good and positive in your life and has been found to increase levels of happiness and reduce depression.
All you have to do is grab a notebook and at the end of each day write down three good things that happened and what might have caused them. It doesn't have to be earth shattering - I often count things like beautiful weather.
Now, I know the news these days teeters between awful and appalling, but I've been deliberately reflecting on the good things that have happened this week. There are more than three, but Galia has already blogged on our talk with Val Leveson, and anyway, three is a magic number. As it's Friday, I hope these three things serve to bolster your TGIF feelings, as they have mine.
It'll come as no surprise that they are all about numbers!
The first good thing came in the news: New Zealand is ranked fifth out of 130 countries in the Global Gender Gap report just released by the World Economic Forum. Fifth! We were 5th last year too and 7th the year before, so we're improving. Our neighbours across the Tasman - 'cos we always have to compare ourselves, don't we? - have slid from 15 in 2006 and are now 21st. The UK has seen a similar slither from 9th to 13th. I haven't dug into the fourteen underlying variables to understand what's driving these different trajectories but for today I'm just happy to report that New Zealand is shrinking its gender gap and is well ahead of its peers.
The second thing was in a similar vein and came at the hairdresser's. I picked up the October issue of the Australian Women's Weekly (NZ edition) and found it was their 75th birthday issue. Tthe lead feature reviewed statistics on how women's position in NZ had improved since the magazine's launch. One number that really resonated was the infant mortality rate, down from 36 per 1000 live births to just under 5. As a mum, I am profoundly grateful I live in times when medicine, and effective access to it, has advanced to this point. The other statistic was the explosion in married women working - from 5% up to 71%. I know some women work through economic necessity but let's celebrate the fact that we have the fundamental choice now. The idea that marriage signalled a strong societal expectation, and occasionally actual workplace rules, that women would leave work has me grinding my teeth to dust.
The third thing? I'm going to go for a home grown success. This morning I opened the latest version of our registration database (Galia and I take turns validating and processing registrations) and guess what? We have just passed 1200 members! Galia said we were getting close but I didn't know we'd passed the milestone. If you're a new member reading this, welcome aboard!
Have a great weekend, whatever the weather (the sky is a perfect blue as I type this).
Sarah
18 November
Professionelle in the media
Next Saturday the 22nd make sure you check the front page of the Careers/ Jobs section of the Weekend Herald. Yesterday, we had the pleasure of spending close to two (!) hours with Val Leveson who writes for the Herald on career issues.
You may have noticed that we haven’t been in the press much lately and this has been quite purposeful as we concentrate on working to upgrade Professionelle for you! And I promise we will be writing on that shortly.
This interview came about from our presentation to the EEO Diversity in Action workshop, which Sarah has blogged about already. Val was there and she was interested to learn more about our research and our approach in general. She was very warm and interested, which was very affirming for us. We are really excited to see what she says.
Talking to her brought home to me again how really everything we do seems to interweave – we take the learning from the site into our work with corporates and individuals offline, and we take our learning from these interactions and feed it back into the site.
Without you, our members, and especially those of you who give us your thoughtful and considerate feedback, we wouldn’t be where we are today. It is throughour interactions with you that we learn. From the comments you send us and from our discussions with you, we are able to determine what we should focus on and to see quickly what the things that really matter to you are. And most importantly, we are able to really home in on that things that really make it work for professional working women!
So here’s to you, our users, I hope you read the interview, I hope you like it and I can’t wait to hear what you think! So please e-mail me your reactions to the article.
Galia
7 November
Awards & Winners
It’s just over a week since our big day out presenting at the EEO Trust’s diversity workshops and attending the fabulous Work & Life Awards dinner at the generous invitation of Philippa Reed, the Trust’s CEO.
As a young company it was a privilege - and a somewhat nerve-wracking challenge! - for Professionelle to be presenting to a very large group of diversity practitioners and HR managers. We shared our ideas on women and leadership: the business case for women leaders, the myths and stats, and, very importantly, the practical things companies and women themselves can do to keep women advancing to more senior positions. The material reflected what both what our many members have told us, as well as what local and interantional research reveals. We’ve had follow-up queries from attendees and we’re sure this great opportunity will bear fruit.
At the dinner, we both found the personal stories touched us most. For me it was Lucy McKimm, the young ACC manager, who was a co-winner of the Walk the Talk Award. She responded to the arrival of Kerry, a profoundly deaf new team member, by deciding to learn sign language. The whole team joined in and it became a great team building exercise with a lot of laughs as the novice signers pushed themselves, with Kerry’s encouragement, to sign across ever greater distances and on more complex messages - even jokes!
As luck (or the EEO’s excellent planning) would have it, we shared a table at dinner with a Professionelle member and her colleague, both from Cheal Consultants in Taupo, who had an entry in the Workplace Work & Life Award. Cheal have worked hard to retain staff through remote working, flexible hours, and practical support for a raft of work-life initiatives. These have won them not only the loyalty of working mums and their inhouse Ironman, but of staff who stuck with them through some tough times. And the clients? They have seemingly reaped the benefit of flexibility through more hours to access Cheal's experts. Cheal didn’t win the Award, but surely they’ve been winning in the workplace!
In the week since, the US people have elected a relatively untried President with a strong line in optimistic rhetoric. You may remember I blogged about optimism winning US elections... Many people are understandably ecstatic that a scant 40 years after black women finally got the vote (in 1965. 1965!!) a black man and his family will be in the White House.
Those celebrating should guard against complacency, though. One black President won’t mean the end of the US color bar, any more than two female Prime Ministers in Godzone have meant an end to the dearth of senior women in our private and public organisations.
We aren’t home and hosed, but what we do have is hope, and a lot of work-in-progress.
Sarah
28 October
Perspectives
As you may know, Sarah and I are currently working to design the next phase for professionelle.co.nz. We’re hoping to write an article outlining how we’ve got to this point and what our plans actually are…. What we have been doing is asking our members what they’d like us to invest in and develop further.
With the kind help of one of our members, Penelope Peebles from Peebles Associates, we were able to hold two focus groups with active members in Auckland. We don’t have offices as we work from home and Penelope invited us to use their Boardroom.
Sarah blogged about the first group about a month ago. This time, we had a group of women who work in large organisations. They were all incredibly talented, successful and outspoken, and yet, many confessed to feeling quite insecure at times.
The depth of conversation and intimacy of sharing when we get a group of Professionelle members together always humbles me. In about ninety minutes, we covered everything from feeling like a fraud to senior women pulling the ladder up when they reach the top! It was a truly positive and affirming experience so much so that I think we all felt we could have taken twice as long discussing these topics.
Personally, these experiences really validate my vision for Professionelle as a place where professional women would feel safe to share their experiences and talk about the things that really matter.
And what about the site, you ask? Well, we’re planning to significantly upgrade it, allow for much more interaction and provide many more learning opportunities, but more on that in a forthcoming article. What I can tell you is that as a consequence of this focus group, our thinking has changed and we will be taking a somewhat different direction to what we’d envisaged.
I am a great advocate of asking for help, guidance and perspective. There is an ancient Hebrew saying that ‘ the shy never learn’ and I try and live by it. If you are ever contemplating a change, a new direction, or anything else for that matter, ask people who you value and who you care about for their guidance. You don’t have to do all they say, but the chances are they’d love to provide you with their perspective and there is every chance you’ll glean a new insight!
Galia
October 23rd
Diversity in Days of Yore
Philippa Reed, CEO of NZ's EEO Trust, has invited us to give a talk on women and leadership at the Trust's Diversity in Action Workshop next week, ahead of the Trust's annual Work & Life Awards. We're hugely excited and grateful for the opportunity. We've been working hard to put together a session that is both positive and practical. It draws on what we've learned from our members and clients over the last 18 months, and on the latest research.
As a result, we've been doing some reading on diversity. 2008 research out of Europe, specifically from the Lehman Brothers Centre for Women in Business, attached to London Business School, shows that gender-balanced teams are the most innovative. How often do we have the chance to work in teams like that? I did my MBA at London Business School (somewhere back in the Dark Ages, it's true) and I think women at the time made up a quarter to a third of the annual intake. We were lucky to have a couple of women in each study group of seven.
It was a small step, then, for me to reflect on my MBA and my experiences. Time has a way of winnowing through the memories and to my surprise, the most enagaging one was of a second year project that I did with one other person: a Peruvian woman called Miriam.
The truth is that at first I didn't want her as my partner. I only knew two things that had come from Peru - the Incas and Paddington Bear. There'd be language barriers, I reasoned, cultural barriers, she wasn't well-connected. Research shows that diverse teams have a harder time getting going, and I would put my hesitancy firmly in this stage. But research also shows that diverse teams later overtake the homogenous ones, thriving on the interaction of very divergent inputs.
Without a control group, I can't honestly say if Miriam and I produced better work together than we would have with colleagues from our own cultures, though our client was happy with our work. What I can say is that I have wonderfully rich memories of my time with her as we worked to the backdrop of ballet music which she loved. She cooked a traditional Peruvian dish of chicken and rice with beer and coriander for me and Tony one night. We had an endless muddle over her pronounciation of ham and jam (my Spanish was non-existent, so English was all we had). And she left me with a phrase that we STILL use in our family when something turns pear-shaped: "Oh, no, ees disaster!"
Would a more homogenous project partner have left me with half as many vibrant and positive memories? I doubt it.
Vive la difference!
Sarah
October 14th
High Notes Win Votes
In less than a month, NZ, the US and Canada will all have been to the polls. Who will win is anyone's guess - or is it?
One of our favourite writers on positive psychology, Professor Martin Seligman, reckons he has a powerful prediction tool. You can read about it on pp 187-198 of his book Learned Optimism. His analysis suggests it all comes down to the optimistic tone of the candidates' speeches and comments: do they talk of taking positive action or do they ruminate on the problems? Do they explain the country's ills in terms that are temporary and specific, or permanent and pervasive?
Seligman and his colleagues analysed, blind, the pairs of Democrat and Republican nomination acceptance speeches of the presidential candidates for every election since 1948, which was when the speeches began to reach the voting masses via television. Based on the optimistic content of these speeches, they called the eventual election winner correctly a staggering 9 out of 10 times.
They then tried their hands at predicting the 1988 election. Based on his hugely optimistic nomination acceptance speech, they picked Michael Dukakis.
They picked wrongly.
Pondering this, they noted that Dukakis' nomination speech was written by Theodore Sorenson, and that its tone was at odds with Dukakis' more sombre speeches early in the primaries and his gloomy TV debates later in the campaign. In this case it seems the candidate had chosen (no doubt deliberately) a speechwriter whose approach was at odds with his own but one he felt fitted the nomination occasion. The norm, Seligman and Co found, was for there to be a high level of congruence between formal speeches - often written by others - and off-the-cuff comments by the candidates.
What of NZ's main contenders? On the strength of this morning's campaign blogs published in The Herald, I'd have to hand the optimism prize to Helen Clark. She sounded upbeat, even fun, not at all like her usual self on the evening news or in Parliament.
I'll be listening to tonight's TV One Leaders' debate with my ears tuned not for content but instead for action-orientation and explanatory style. It might even help keep my blood pressure stable!
Sarah
October 8th
Difficult meetings
I had an extremely difficult meeting last night. Completely un-Professionelle related so don’t worry. It is related to one of the many hats I wear. I really tried to keep my temper under control, and to those who know me – it is quite a temper, I am Mediterranean after all! And I think I succeeded mostly, it was obvious I wasn’t happy mind you. But I did almost physically bite my tongue on a number of occasions. The reason I wanted to do so, is because there is an outcome I am seeking and I don’t think that aggression will get me there, and that diplomacy is much more likely to win the day.
What made it so difficult? On reflection, and this particular involvement of mine is difficult, so I’ve reflected quite a bit about it, it is because the issue at hand really touches my core values. I find it very difficult dealing with people who don’t share my values. And in this case there are a number of them who have so completely different values, that it is really difficult to relate.
I have recently done a personality profiling called the Hogan, it looks at your behaviour as perceived by others when you are at your every-day (light side), when you are under pressure (dark side) and your underlying motivations. I do think self- awareness is the nicest thing about growing up, and dare I say it, aging. Doing the assessment made me realise that I am most susceptible to displaying my ‘dark side’ when my values are under threat. So that made me very cautious going in last night, as I knew they will be.
Did I loose it? I regret to say that, yes, albeit briefly. I did end up muttering something that crossed my mind, not a Hebrew Curse mind-you, just an observation. Nonetheless, maybe next time I should just take a stress ball and when I feel my core values are particularly affronted, just silently greet my teeth and squeeze harder!
-Galia-
October 6th
The Jewish New Year
Along with the October school holidays this year, and all they entail, came the extra challenges of a significant chunk of non Professionelle work and the Jewish High Holidays!
The Jewish New Year took place last week, followed by a period of ten days in which we reflect on the last year and ask forgiveness for our misdeeds both from one another and from God. The 10th day is called Yom Kippur – the Day of Atonement, during which we fast for 25 hours.
Tradition has it that on Rosh-Hshana (the Jewish New Year), God opens three books. One contains the names of the absolute sinners in it, and they are assigned to death. The second has the names of the absolutely righteous people, and they are assigned to life. The last book is for the rest of us, the people who have done some good and some bad in the past year. We haven’t been assigned yet and therefore the ten days after New Year are very important and are meant to be dedicated to reflection and prayer. The traditional greeting in Hebrew for these ten days is gmar chatima tovae which literally means "for a good assigning" (or: may you be signed well – for life).
So I have been doing a lot of reflection these last few days. I thought about what I would change about how I have behaved or treated others last year. My own reflections, together with world and local events that have happened these last few weeks, have made me realise how important it is to both reflect on the learnings, and even more so, to resolve how to really incorporate them into one’s future actions.
I promise I will write on this topic some more, it is one which holds great fascination for me!
Galia
September 25
Brilliant Minds
Earlier this week, Galia and I gathered a small group of Auckland members in a focus group setting to pick their collective brains. We wanted to learn what benefits they get from Professionelle, what more they would like and how to deliver it in a way that’s in line with our values. As we’ve come to expect, the conversation was highly intelligent, respectfully opinionated and consistently warm. Our members’ insights will be very valuable inputs as we work on a revamp of the site.
And it got me thinking... about the value of having several good brains to tap into, rather than the genius of one brain. This is an occasional subject of debate with my father. When something breaks or has an obvious flaw, his usual comment is, "I bet that was designed by a committee." Now, we’ve all seen instances of groupthink, especially under time pressure and sleep deprivation, but I can list many more times when I’ve seen the collaboration of a group take a promising idea to the next level. The other brains inject so much: analogues and experience, helicopter vision, nitty gritty implementation considerations, sources of further advice and on and on.
It must be said that my father’s temperament leans towards doing things on his own. As a boy he preferred to design and build model aeroplanes rather than play team sports. As a young man in the last war, he enlisted in the airforce because, he said, his survival in a dogfight would be based on his own skills, not the wisdom - or otherwise - of a commander. And I suspect his later experiences at work did little to convince him of the ability of a team to find creative solutions and lift performance.
He speaks with near-reverence of the brilliance of inventors like Stevenson and Watt, and of engineers like Brunel. As I listen, I always find myself wondering how much faster their designs would have taken shape, how much more practical their applications might have been, if those brilliant loners had collaborated with a few other good brains in the development stages.
It was another genius, Sir Isaac Newton, who said, "If I have seen a little further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." Even better than standing on their shoulders is, I reckon, to have them in the room with you, working side by side!
Sarah
September 21
Roses and Daisies
Last Friday we had our final Professionelle public workshop for 2008. I am always humbled by the calibre of women who show up to these workshops. And even more humbled by how, within just four hours of meeting one another, these women are so willing to share and support one another.
This workshop on Friday was just exceptional. None of them knew each other and yet they were all so generous, offering each other sound suggestions, thoughts and more than anything, genuine and heartfelt encouragement. And boy, every single woman in that room was highly accomplished, articulate and successful.
As some of you may have noticed, I’ve had a shit month this September. It's involved everything from tragedy that struck in my homeland, through to terrible consumer experiences, and finally to an old friend who has really hurt me. However, I do consider myself to be truly blessed to be able to spend a good half-day with a group of positive and giving women like the group this last Friday.
I hope they got as much as I did from the workshop. For me it was a wonderful illustration that even though people you have known for a very long time may let you down and even hurt you, there are other people that you might meet (as I did on Friday) and those you have yet to meet, who are generous and giving.
As a good friend of mine said about my own bad experience, you have to be prepared to dig the daisies out of your garden if you want to make room for the roses. And she is so right, to make room for genuine, kind and reciprocating friends, you do have to let go of old and - as I recently wrote about - toxic friends.
Galia
September 17th
Service Successes
Not to take away from Galia's ghastly mobile service encounter (see below - and I use the term service loosely), but I have recently been delighted with two interactions with big companies. It is so nice to have your expectations exceeded, and the fact that my expectations were pretty low - let’s face it, my teeth were gritted as I lifted the phone in both cases - should not detract from the good experience.
I sent a small parcel to Australia and discovered this weekend that it never arrived. I called NZ Post this morning on their 0800#, fully expecting to be told something like "customers are permitted to search the far corners of the Auckland Mail Centre between 4.45 and 5pm on the second Wednesday of any month with fewer than six letters in it, otherwise fergeddaboudit." Instead, I spoke to a lady called Kay who could only be described as frightfully helpful and unfailingly polite. It helped that I still had my till receipt, but it was also clear that NZ Post had a system for dealing with lost parcels. Kay took down the details, made a couple of checks straightaway, left me with one small check of my own to do, and promised me a reply by October 13th.
Then there was AA Insurance after another car had backed into me in the supermarket carpark. The ding wasn’t too bad but the light was broken so I took my courage in my hands and called the AA. They found the nearest service centre to where I lived, checked it wasn’t fully booked, ordered me a hire car (which ended up costing me the grand total of $10), and rang me a day ahead of schedule when it was all fixed. Oh, and they returned my grubby, dusty car all clean and gleaming.
Just thinking about those two encounters makes me feel good all over again. So, since Professionelle likes to celebrate success, I thought I’d share them with you.
Hmm, I wonder if they’d had consultants in to redesign the process...
Sarah
September 14
There’s always a first- calling on hubby to sort out a very unpleasant situation…
I don’t think I have ever been so outraged by an unpleasant experience with a sales person. I try to let these things wash over me and I don’t recall EVER putting in a formal complaint. But it seems I am having a horrible terrible no good very bad month! (There is a children’s book called "Alexander and the terrible horrible no good very bad day", which my kids and I read on days like that…)
In late August, I went into a certain mobile franchise shop on Ponsonby Road aiming to replace the charger to my existing phone. I have been with the mobile provider for nearly a decade. The manager saw that my plan was due for renewal, and started the hard sell to get me sign a new two-year plan and get a new phone. He talked at me, didn’t give me all the facts in an orderly manner to make my own decision, and I found him hard to understand. I had to get a phone as I work from home and am only accessible by mobile for many of my clients. I ended up staying there for an hour trying to make sense of what he was saying. Now, I am not exactly daft and do pride myself on my ability to pick things up quickly, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying, not because of his accent but because it didn’t make sense to me given what I needed! Even more disturbing, in that hour, I observed that he was similarly impatient with other women customers who came in with complaints or issues.
I felt at the time that his service was sub-optimal but ended up with a phone for the reasons above. But I felt like I had been ‘done over’ so I did investigate my options with the actual service provider shop, and discovered there was a deal with a new and very desirable phone which was very appropriate for me. A phone which the franchise store didn’t stock… My mobile phone provider advised me that I could change my plan back to the original plan within a week to take advantage of the better deal. They also advised me that the store where I signed up to my new plan is obliged to let me do so.
So, a week after the first encounter, I returned to Ponsonby Road and spoke to the young guy who was working there. At this point, the store manager with whom I dealt before, yelled at me from the other side of the room that ‘I wasted an hour of his time and he doesn’t have to do this (change my plan back) and that it is a huge hassle for him, but he will do it even though he doesn’t have to’. This encounter left me in tears and feeling threatened. I have never felt that way in 15 years living and working in New Zealand.
Fortunately, I had to go and get more items for the phone to replace it. That gave me time to call my husband and ask him to come and help me. I have never ever in my entire time here had to get my husband to come and back me up! I am not a shrinking violet, I am tall, and outspoken, but at this time I actually felt threatened! I also contacted a wonderful customer service person at the mobile company who really helped me and left me in no doubt that I was completely within my cool-down period and was entitled to simply change my mind.
Upon my return, with my husband, the store manager was completely different, helpful and calm and changed my plans without a word. …
Sexism? I will let you be the judge…
Galia
September 6th
When Worlds Collide (Hats part 2)
Galia blogged below with her take on my notion of "hats", so I thought I'd add mine. The hats refer, of course, to the numerous roles we fill in our lives.
I first became actively aware of my hats when I finally began to use a signature on my emails. It was a contract work-related signature. Pretty soon I had to figure out how to add another one for all the Montessori Trust emails I was sending at the time - it didn't seem appropriate to have a work-related signature, especially when dealing with our host school or the Ministry of Education. Then I had some private consulting work start up. Next Galia invited me to join her in what has become Professionelle. I also have an identity as a writer of romantic fiction which draws me into e-correspondence with other writers and publishers. Oh - and I'm a wife, mother and friend.
Nowadays, I have a stable of five or six signatures. As I finish an email, I call up the list and select the appropriate one. If you use Outlook Express, you'll know that the most frequently and most recently used signatures appear at the top of the list. I've found it fascinating to watch the rise and fall of the different parts of my identity, as work and community activities ebb and flow.
But there's an aspect of this hat business that I've been noticing more and more and that I can't quite resolve: what to do when worlds collide?
When BCG's ANZ HR Director emailed me about the possibility of advertising for consultant candidates on Professionelle, I was in a quandary: should I use my BCG signature or my Professionelle one in reply? And when a Professionelle contact gave me a lead for some private consulting work, was I better to sign my email to the potential client as Professionelle, which they'd heard of, or Wilful Associates, which they hadn't? Sometimes, I just want to duck the whole issue and use no signature at all - ironically reverting back to where I was about three years ago! Where's the latter day Emily Post to advise me on handling the cyberspace conjunction of my personal brands with email etiquette?!
One day it won't be just two worlds colliding like in the examples above. I can see a time when I'll need a PhD in Cyber-Astrophysics to find the best signature option. Oh yes, the day is at hand when I'm going to wake up to an email from a Professionelle member who met me through a BCG project and has recently worked with me in my private Wilful Associates capacity asking for my views on Montessori preschools, in particular whether their use of the phonics method for teaching reading is likely to create a lifelong love of words, and creative writing...
If you don't hear from me for a bit after that it'll be because I've slid into a black hole of confusion and don't know who I am any more.
Sarah
September 2nd
Different hats and signature strengths
I have to confess, the idea of the multiple hats we wear is actually Sarah’s. She’s been planning to write about multiple identities for a long time. Which as usual, got me thinking…
Both Sarah and I have multiple identities, well there’s the obvious ones as mothers, wives, Professionelle directors and we both have other business interests. We are also both very involved in our communities. I sit on two non-for-profit boards and what got me thinking about this issues of multiple identities was that, last week was mainly spent on my non-for-profit work.
When people find out that I sit on these Boards as well as my ‘paid work’, they usually respond with ‘isn’t that too much’? or ‘you must very busy’. The truth is that it isn’t too much and I don’t feel too busy – Yes I do feel that I have full days, but I am certainly not out-of-breath in the evenings and weekends.
Certainly, part of making it work is that I am organised and I try and always prioritise and plan ahead. But the truth is that I really enjoy all that I do (even if times it can get frustrating). But this last week really got me thinking about why I enjoy it…
I was asked to spend my last Sunday and Monday in educational conference for one of my Board appointments, to be honest, I did somewhat resent it as it took me away from my family on the weekend. But it turns out that I really enjoyed the conference, wanted Sarah to be there too, and if I could I’d do more sessions that the ones I did do.
It occurred to me that my own secret for doing so many things and actually enjoying them all, is to ensure that I use my signature strengths in all of them. Four of my five top signature strengths are from the Virtue of ‘Wisdom and Knowledge’ (there are six virtues and twenty four strengths). For me the secret to enjoying and being productive in all that I do is to ensure I always learn something new, that I can apply my critical thinking to whatever it is and there is a way for me to think creatively about the topic/work/matter!
So of course I enjoyed a conference about education and learning… how did I ever doubt that I would? I should really make a point of practicing more of what I preach.
You can find out your Signature Strengths on Dr Martin Seligman Authentic Happiness website
Galia
August 16th
A Tale of Two Workshops
The day after our Professionelle workshop on "Wellbeing at Work" (see Galia's blog below), I spent a happy time at the NZ Romance Writers' conference in a workshop on "Empowering Characters' Emotions and Deep Editing for Emotional Punch." The facilitator was Margie Lawson, a practising psychologist, author, and writing teacher, based in Colorado.
As I compared our workshop with Margie's, I found myself reflecting on what makes for successful workshops. Even though Margie was teaching an audience ten times larger than ours, and for a full, rather than half, day, there were some striking similarities.
One thing was how, in both, the time flew. When you're engaged in what you're doing, and in flow, you lose track of time. I know from our workshop feedback that this happened to our participants and it certainly happened for me with Margie. I would happily have stayed on for another three hours to try to go on learning.
That led to me another insight. Through work, I've been to training conferences galore and almost all have been imposed. So often, sitting there, I've felt time dragging - even with my signature strength of loving learning! Yesterday, and at our workshop, the participants had self-selected, paid to attend, and taken control of their own learning. I think that makes for a huge difference in engagement levels.
Another ingredient of great workshops seems to be lightening the work with humour. In ours, I always look for ways to crack little jokes. Light relief goes a long way when you're facing confronting and challenging material. In the longer session with Margie yesterday, I felt our laughs restore our energy levels. There was a lovely moment when Margie - with the writer's permission - made a raft of edits to tighten a paragraph. "Thanks," said the writer, "But at this rate it won't be a book, it'll be a pamphlet!" We all roared.
You can't underestimate the power of sharing stories and personal experiences. Our participants tell us this is something they really appreciate. I can't share any here because our rules are that what is said in our workshops stays there. But I can tell you that my most vivid memory from yesterday is Margie's account of a car crash she suffered. She told it to demonstrate visceral reactions and how time warps at times of huge stress. Her story came to life in my mind in a way the (excellent) written examples couldn't match.
The last way you know a workshop has worked is that you come away feeling you have both a broader framework to put things into new perspective as well as a couple of things you can start practising right away. Our participants certainly grasped the higher level messages. They could also all cite one to three things they would do differently when they got back to their desks that day.
And so could I.
If you take another look at this blog, you'll see that I have crafted almost all sentences so that the strongest, most relevant, word is the last word. That's called backloading the power word. Now you, too, can become New York Times bestselling authors!
Sarah
August 15th
Workshops, facilitation and using your strengths
I’ve been meaning to blog about this for a while, but have been busy in the ‘doing’ without much time to do the reflecting. I should have known better, having done so much reading and learning on Positive Psychology, that growth comes from taking the time to reflect after a period of ‘doing’ and taking action! So now, I’m making the time to do just that.
In the last couple of weeks we’ve had two public workshops for our members. A lot of work goes into them as you may appreciate. And sometimes I do wonder if it is ‘worth it’. Yesterday, I had two sick children, a terrible night sleep and really wasn’t that sure about the wisdom of it all going in.
But, and it is a HUGE but, it was SO worth it. This was our third public workshop this year. I did think going in, that perhaps we should have kept them at two, especially with everything else that’s going on. I forgot, or maybe more importantly I didn’t take the time after the last workshop two weeks ago, to reflect and realise just how much we get out of them and that, as the feedback we receive tells us, our participants do as well. One very moving piece of feedback read,
I did not expect to feel and learn everything I did today, and the timing in my life is astounding. I think this will help me "figure out" where I go from here.
We keep our workshops very small, something we do very deliberately and are rewarded for it every time. Yesterday, we had a great mix of ages, stages, professions, ethnic backgrounds and outlook. And yet we all had so much in common. Another participant picked up on this, writing in her reflections on the morning about, "how other women are in similar situations, despite being in different careers and having different personalities."
Sarah and I take hours to prepare our workshops and we do have much to share with our participants, but honestly, I believe the most value comes from the sharing of experiences among participants in this safe environment.
We’ve now realised we can’t do the workshops justice in under four hours because we came to understand that the most valuable thing we have to offer is a safe and focused environment where women can really share their thoughts, challenges and actual experiences. As another participant put it, "I found the personal contributions hugely valuable...I could have sat here for a lot longer!"
It is through the facilitation of this meaningful sharing, where reflection takes place and ultimately, growth.
And, for myself? I was yet again reminded when I am on fire – and that is when I deliver workshops and facilitate discussions about topics I feel passionate about, using my own signature strengths!
Galia
August 5
A Wonderful Experience in Christchurch
Last Thursday I was in Christchurch delivering mentoring workshops to ANZ as part of their two half days for the bank's Global Women's network initiative. The wonderful Sarah Lochead-MacMillan, one of our very first members and a great supporter, involved us in the same initiative in Auckland a while back. The bank wanted us to deliver the same workshops in Christchurch. Given Sarah WS's hectic schedule and the smaller group we decided that it would be OK for just one of us to go.
If you cast your memory back to last Wednesday when I flew down, it was the day of the storm. As I was sitting in the airport, flight after flight got cancelled and I wasn’t too sure if I was going to even make it. But make it I did!
I spent the evening reading my board papers and eating my room service. Sad, I know, but after a busy week this felt like absolute luxury. When the next day dawned, I was unsure what to expect, given the terrible weather had made its way to Christchurch.
Almost all of the women who said they’d come did. They were there nice and early on a miserable and cold day. The workshop went quite well. I expect attendees to participate; I think some found that a bit hard early in the morning, on a cold day. Also, one of the organisers told me that being from Christchurch makes people quite reserved!
I thought it was all going well and after the workshop was completed was happily having tea and chatting away, until the organisers approached me to let me know that the speaker who was supposed to do the second part of the morning was stuck in snow on the way in!
‘Would you mind talking about your career?’ they asked, “You’ve done some interesting stuff”. Well, I thought quickly, talking about myself continually didn’t really appeal. The senior ANZ member who introduced me, Charlie Graham, the General Manager of Rural Banking, was still there, however, and it occurred to me that we could open the floor to questions and answer about women, careers, and anything in between.
And so we did. I did start with a five-minute overview of my career so that the women had some context and then we opened the floor. Well, actually I did MAKE them ask questions at times, but soon enough they all participated in full, asking questions and offering insights. An absolutely wonderful morning. Having Charlie there, with his male and rural banking perspective was an absolute treat. I learnt a lot and so did the women.
I am a very experienced facilitator; I have designed and delivered many workshops over my career. The more I do them the more I realise that the real value in the room is not what’s on my slides (hard as that might be to admit) but what participants have to share. And that I am at my best when I facilitate the workshop in a way that enables participants to actually to share their thoughts with one another.
So there it is, the next challenge to these two ex-strategic consultants – fewer slides from us and more participation from our attendees!
Galia
22 July
Women's Wiring
Over the last week I've been writing up the rest home and hospital interviews I recently conducted all around New Zealand. I always take copious notes so it's not hard to bring back the discussions and actual quotes - and that's just as well because when I think of what I naturally remember it isn't the serious business answers to the client's issues.
What I remember are the characters. There was Mama Chan, a doughty Chinese lady in her early sixties who sat at a desk, trousered legs apart, and told me in no-nonsense tones what she thought about the service and category I was investigating. There was Mary, the highly experienced charge nurse who showed me the retirement cottages at the back of her facility. An elderly woman came out of one of them, armed with a broom and duster. "That's my mother-in-law," Mary said. "She 's 94. Watch! I bet she's going to polish her windows." And so she did.
I also vividly remember the home where the registered nurse ignored the plaintive cries of a resident, despite my repeated offers to break off the interview. Feeling like the cause of this woman's suffering - the pleas were first for tea, then for a wee - my stress levels hit the red zone. No learning is wasted though: if I ever have to put one of my parents into a home, you can bet I will be hanging out on the ward first, checking out the empathy and humanity of the staff.
I remember the way some interviewees lit up when they described the suppliers they most liked working with - and how that contrasted with the flatness when they talked about second tier suppliers.
I remember the scenery - the blue dome day over the Canterbury Plains and the waves crashing through the roadside barriers to wash over the Kapiti Coast highway.
I remember who offered me a cup of tea and who didn't.
And then, last Thursday, quite unrelated to the interviews, I found myself investing a good hour in tidying up the house before our cleaner came to work her weekly miracle. In my defence, it was school holidays and the carpet lay buried under Lego and filthy socks. But I recalled hearing how my grandmother back in the UK would do the same before Home Help arrived, even though she was half blind and her fingers were gnarled with arthritis. A girl has her standards.
Tonight I multitasked, even though I don't enjoy it. The dinner was on, there was a child's head to de-nit (AGAIN. If you have miracle cures, I want to know them NOW) and I had an ear out for the washing machine, in order to get the sheets into the dryer and back on the children's beds before bedtime. Yes, we do have more than one duvet set per child, but not more than one avidly adored duvet set per child...
Finally, it dawned on me: emotional connections, household pride, multi-tasking - it's all in my wiring. Women's wiring. My natural tendency in those interviews to absorb emotions, motivations, signs of nurturing, and the environment, ahead of key business issues, is inevitable.
What's more, it's valuable. The human angle that I grasp so effortlessly will help my client presentation come to life. It will feed stories that my client (largely made up of women!) will remember.
It's a strength, not a weakness.
Sarah
17 July
Time to Celebrate!
It's official. A year and four months after Professionelle opened its virtual doors we have our one thousandth member! 
And as luck would have it, that new member is someone we've both known for many years, a professional mum of three who now works at a large corporate. It will be an absolute pleasure to send her a little something from Professionelle to mark this occasion.
I said to Galia many months ago that once we reached 500 members I'd stop worrying - if we had that many people it would be ample proof we were tapping a real need and interest. But for the first few months I had my Excel spreadsheet going, with a graph of predicted and actual members. I fretted when the actual dipped below the predicted and glowed when we were running ahead of schedule. I vividly remember hitting 250 (oddly that member was someone else we know well: my husband... And no, our members are really NOT only past colleagues and family!)
And then somewhere around the 500 mark I noticed I stopped updating my graph so regularly. If I bothered it was purely for interest or to see the impact of media exposure, like the TV One News Special Report.
I might update it again tonight, just for the heck of it and then leave it for good.
Of course, I had to crunch a final number: how many new members per day have we averaged? The answer is almost exactly two, or ten every working week.
We've never paid for advertising. Some of our membes have found us through internet searches, a chunk are with us in response to media activity or public speaking, a group came from our tapping into other people's networks, but, overwhelmingly, our members have come through personal referral. And as every marketer knows, that's the most powerful advertising of all.
Of course, it's up to us to keep finding ways to earn that advocacy. We won't be resting on our laurels.
But just for tonight, to quote that TV ad, I think we've Done Enough for a Mallowpuff.
Sarah
9 July
Identity portfolios and great friendships
Gill South, a great business journalist, a Professionelle member and a good friend of mine, is writing a book about working mothers. Yesterday she interviewed me for her book. In the course of the interview we talked about the loss of confidence many professional women experience when they first have children and take time out.
My belief, based on my own experience and observing other women, is that many of us lose our confidence as a result of our perceived loss of our professional identity when we first become mums. And in many cases (myself firmly included), before having babies, most of our identity consisted of our professional identity. Feeling like we lost that identity and entering into the uncharted water of motherhood and unpaid work, really felt like a huge blow to our self-esteem.
I will never forget the first time people turned their backs on me when they found out I was a young mum in a social context. They simply felt I wasn’t that interesting or useful to them. And I knew that three months prior, when I was co-ordinating the HR integration of the Fonterra merger, they probably would have just loved the opportunity of talking to me and seeing if there were any employment positions open to them! In the book What Happy Women Know which I reviewed on this site, the author refers to 'Identity portfolios'. Like investment portfolios, you shouldn’t have all your sense of self tied up in just one identity. Having multiple identities he argues, helps you build resilience in time of crisis and provides you with great joy throughout your life.
One of the best things that happened to me since having my children, through much hard work mind you, is that I now have an identity portfolio; I have my professional identity, my mum and wife identity and my being a good friend and having great friends identity. I was a wife and a friend before I had my kids of course, but my work held by far the lion’s share of my sense of identity. Having good relationships is one of the hallmarks of happiness and well-being. And I certainly felt when I was working so hard that I was missing out. Relationships with my close friends are very important. I also invest a lot in them, especially given that some of my closest and dearest friends live in a different hemisphere.
In our recent trip to the USA, two of those wonderful friends came to see us and spend time with us, as it is not often we make it to their side of the planet. One of them is the closest thing I have to a sister, having met her when I was five years old. Having spent my entire adult life in NZ, we never got to experience having children together, getting married together and all that. But the most wonderful thing is, that when we do meet in person (every three years or so) it’s like we pick up from where we left off.
My other special friend is a former European colleague; we met on a client assignment and lived together on location for three months. Far away from our everyday lives, we formed this intense friendship and have managed to keep it up. She also came to see us and we spent a wonderful weekend together with her. To top it all off, my very fabulous husband volunteered to look after the children so that we could see Sex in the City together in NYC! Yes, being a good friend and having wonderful friends is definitely something worth working on!
Galia
4 July
On building resilience
A while back I attended a big conference on Happiness in Sydney, which I’ve written a bit about already. It had a mixture of Buddhist speakers and scientists. And to my delight, there were some notable leaders in the field of positive psychology, including my personal hero, Professor Martin Seligman.
Being at the conference has reinforced to me how important it is for me on a personal level to do as I preach. I have since re-affirmed the exercises I was already doing and added some new ones, like writing my gratitude letter.
I think probably the best thing I’ve personally discovered about positive psychology is that it builds resilience in a very observable and measurable way. Yes, I’ve read academic articles that support this. They’ve done some very clever studies involving inducing stress by telling people they have three minutes to write a speech to their best friend about what makes them a good friend ... they measure the subjects' physical reaction to the stress and monitor how quickly or otherwise they recover if exposed to a positive stimuli like a feel-good movie or to a sad one.
It is one thing to write about it, but I have noticed for myself how much quicker I bounce back from the little challenges of life now. I find myself not really fazed by things that used to really unsettle me. I am much more aware of seeing the positive aspect of things (but in an honest way, not in a wishful thinking kind of way). I am also a lot more sensitive to people’s negativity around me.
Seligman writes in his book ‘The Optimistic Child’ that, if you’re a self-respecting professional and a thinker, it has become trendy to be a pessimist. I couldn’t agree with him more. I am now very aware of how much some people seem to drown in messages that reinforce their pessimism. I see these people as a result becoming more anxious and less confident. The personal price seems very high to me.
I am not a raving optimist by any means, although I am working on it. But through doing some very simple positive psychology exercises regularly, and by being aware, I am now finding how much more fun my everyday, full, and yes, relatively challenging, life can be!
Galia
3 July
Godzone
I've been doing some of my own travelling recently, up and down New Zealand, interviewing for a client. Despite this awful weather, I somehow managed to be in Christchurch when it was the one sunny spot in the land, and heading down the Kapiti Coast, again in sun, the day before that huge blow that shut Wellington airport and stranded travellers.
And in Timaru this week, I woke to a blue dome day. I saw what at first appeared to be low lying white clouds near the horizon ...then realised I was looking at snow covered mountains! One part of positive psychology's recipe for happiness is building it in the present by savouring and mindfulness. So I made sure I savoured the fabulous view and was mindful of the light and shade on the mountains as I drove back up the Canterbury Plains (whilst keeping part of my brain on the driving task, of course).
Some of my forbears settled on those plains in the 1870s. On some stretches of the road I reckoned that the scenery wouldn't have changed much since those days. The past can seem very close in New Zealand, and particularly so in the South Island. On the wild West Coast I've often had the feeling that I'm just five minutes too late to see the last gold miner packing up his things and moving on.
So as I drove on through Canterbury, I wondered what it must have seemed like to my great great grandmother and her husband, to come from the rolling chalk downs and gentle rivers of Berkshire to the starkness of Canterbury with its great braided rivers like the Rakaia, and with the Alps towering in the west.
I hope they thought they were in Godzone, as I did driving through it.
Sarah
26 June
Consumerism – more reflections on NYC
One of the things that stood out to me in NYC and the US in general was how much consumerism is part of Americans' lives. I knew that, I see the movies and TV programmes and laugh at the jokes involving shopping. But being confronted by it in the flesh was a completely different experience. People seem to be always shopping there, everywhere we went there were ALWAYS people, everywhere, with huge shopping bags. It was the same during work hours and on the weekends. We also noticed that a lot of conversations were about stuff, cars, TVs, how much things cost, what the newest, coolest gadget is... you get the drift.
Now, as you know, I do like my fashion and my shopping. There is also much discussion in the media here about how consumerist our society has become in the land of the long white cloud and after my occasional visits to the local mall I am always inclined to agree.
BUT, having been abroad again this year, I think we are very fortunate here and our society is (thankfully) far behind in our consumerism. Yes, you do see people carrying multiple shopping bags and exercising their credit cards in malls and shopping districts like Newmarket. But it isn’t everywhere, and nowhere near to the same visible level.
For one thing, everything is much more expensive here. The US was cheap and you had to work very hard to find something that was actually made in the US. It felt like everything was geared to make you spend (which we did!). Friends took us to their local ‘small’ Wall-Mart, which was bigger than the biggest Warehouse I ever visited here! And of course, because everything was so cheap, we ended up spending much more than we planned to.
It occurred to me that my frugal exercises would require that much more self-discipline over there we were constantly bombarded with sophisticated messages that were geared to make us spend. Hell, in Bloomingdale’s, my girlfriend and I were virtually kidnapped into a cosmetic booth and the women proceeded to paste unrecognisable materials on our faces! Both my friend and I are very assertive, independent women, but somehow in the noise, the crowdedness of the place and their unbelievable aggressive sales push (and yes after living here for so long I’ve lost much of my Israeli brashness) I was drowning in it!
Luckily, my friend protected me (as by that stage I was frazzled with two grumpy children and the one irritable husband) and I escaped without spending a cent!
So, in adding to my list of things I love about New Zealand (which is a very long list indeed) is that actually, we are nowhere near these levels of consumerism. Here, you can decide not to shop and do it with relative ease. Here, it is socially acceptable (and desirable) to do so many more things on our weekends than to just shop!
A lucky place indeed.
Galia
25th May
I can see clearly now
Galia has shared some of her experiences from the Sydney Happiness Conference on this blog. The best story she's told me so far came from her favourite speaker, Tal Ben-Shahar. For a little light weekend humour, here goes:
Tal explained that he meditates early each morning in a room with a pleasant view.
One morning he opened his eyes at the end of his session. The view looked different.
Crisper. Sharper.
Tal realised that, after all his diligent practice, he was experiencing the new, enhanced vision that is said to come to devotees of meditation. He debated sharing this development with his wife but decided to hold off. He didn't want to seem arrogant.
A few days later he and his wife were together in the house. She nodded towards the view outside. "It's made such a difference, hasn't it? Getting the windows cleaned this week."
Sarah
6th May
Women are better managers in most areas
One of our members sent this in (thanks!). She supplied the link to Stuff.
The observations below about women being more likely to challenge the status quo echoed to me the findings on the value women bring to Boards: they’re more likely to ask the hard questions and take the discussion into more fruitful areas. Sarah.
Reuters | Tuesday, 06 May 2008
Women make better business leaders than men in all but two areas of management but men have the upper hand when it comes to focusing on the bottom line, according to an new Australian survey.
Data collected from 1800 Australian female and male chief executive officers and managers found women exhibit more strategic drive, risk taking, people skills and innovation and equalled men in the area of emotional stability.
But men came out on top when it came to command and control of management operations and focusing on financial returns.
The survey, conducted for the Steps Leadership Program by employment consultancy firm Peter Berry Consultancy, found women were more likely to take a chance with their ideas and challenge the status quo.
"Women are ambitious, bold, mischievous, colorful and imaginative. They are more confident, competitive, visionary and have a stronger presence," Gillian O'Mara, general manager of the Steps Leadership Program, said in a statement.
But the survey found that men were more task focused and concentrated on getting the job done rather than dealing with relationships.
"(Men believe that) that bottom line dollars are the only game in town. Their key motives and preferences in life appear to be around revenue, budgets and profit. At work and at home, they are driven by financial opportunities," said O'Mara.
"Men are task focused and concentrate on getting the job done without bothering too much with relationships. They are more comfortable with hierarchies, title silos and processes."
The results of the survey, which was based on an international research-based personality test called the Hogan Assessment System used by organizations to select employees, will be presented at a female leadership seminar in Sydney on May 14.
29th April
Building Positive Women Leaders
Yesterday, we completed a two-day workshop on Building Positive Women Leaders for UDC Finance. This has truly been a wonderful experience. UDC seem very serious about investing in the women who work for them and wanted something that would be useful and would appeal to women. They approached us a while back to give them a proposal on our approach. As a young company, we were delighted with the opportunity, of course.
What we came up with was a two part workshop with about a month break in between so that participants could complete the ‘homework’ we set for them. The first half of the workshop was dedicated to setting out the business case for why women in senior levels in organisations are GOOD for business and to providing them with an introduction to positive psychology.
We frame all our work in the positive. It’s not that we ignore the negatives that do exist, but research shows that although people linger on the negative, we all respond and change our behaviour more readily when faced with positives!
Part 1: The business case for women at the top
So the first half of the workshop was wonderful, the women in the room were open, and really contributed to the discussions. What did blow us away was how incredibly resilient they were, and how positive. To illustrate the difference between optimists and pessimists we used a hypothetical case study, expecting them to give us at least some ‘pessimistic’ explanations, but none of them did!
In their feedback to us, it seems that what they really took from the first half was that there was a clear, fact-based business case for women ‘at the top’.
“I always felt strongly about having women on top of the business, but it's great to be able to support with some theory and actual figures. I found the session very informative and will definitely use the theory to support myself in the future.”
“This session was very inspiring and Sarah & Galia, you have done a fantastic job.”
At the end of this session we gave them homework to complete: the Reflected Best Self exercise (RBS). To say there were a few slightly raised eyebrows in the room about the prospect of asking colleagues, family and friends only for positive feedback would probably be somewhat of an understatement!
To somewhat sweeten this prospect, Sarah was also in the trenches with them, doing her own RBS during this time just as the participants had to (‘cause I’ve done mine and she hasn’t yet!)
Getting a bit worried that the participants might be chickening out on us, we asked the HR team to nag the ladies over the weeks that passed until the second workshop to make sure that they did indeed complete the exercise and bring the feedback with them…
Part 2 – Sharing the RBS, personal branding and career planning.
Well, what an experience this was yesterday. This second part was all about reviewing the feedback and sharing it with the group, before using it as input for building their personal brand and career planning. As we worked through the feedback, we asked every woman to share with us what she felt comfortable with. All twelve participants shared with us the essence of their best self. And all the portraits were different!
Sarah, who is new to this ‘psych’ stuff, was really struck by how unique each portrait was. Yes, there were common themes of helping others, being hard working and methodical and kind, but each picture was unique and each was incredibly powerful.
Listening to all the woman say what was unique and best about them was a very powerful experience. After that the room seemed so quiet I was wondering if we just gazumped them… but their feedback to us was that they were simply feeling in a very contemplative mood as a consequence and rather introverted.
When we read the feedback afterwards, we were really blown away.
“Many thanks to Galia and Sarah – a powerful and insightful course that gave people the tools to take control of their dreams/desires and move forward proactively.”
“Once again, a totally positive experience but most of all thought- provoking. I now have a “toolbox” I understand to help my development.”
At the end of the workshop a man actually dared venture into the room! (And yes, at least one of the participants got hassled about this “woman-only” course by her predominantly male colleagues…). The man who entered was Bruce Anderson, Head of Finance for UDC, and a member of their diversity team. He came to provide his support of the woman attending and to communicate how UDC truly valued diversity. He was genuinely interested in what we’d been doing and how the women found it. Coming from a big organisation, this was really refreshing to see.
Galia
26th April
I touched the hem of his garment!
Well, I shook his hand and introduced myself loudly (he's rather deaf). Who am I talking about?
Professor Martin Seligman in the flesh, at a half day seminar in Wellington a couple of days ago. The event was hosted by the Leadership Development Council (LDC), a public sector organisation.
The father of Positive Psychology tailored a necessarily rapid canter through the key points of his research over the last 10-15 years with allusions to Anzac Day, the NZ psyche and the public sector. His point re Anzac Day was to contrast the military successes of the first half of the last century, together with subsequent economic successes, with the rapidly rising levels of depression in all the Allies' populations.
"If my parents had been told of how the average US house size would double in the fifty years to 2000, how we'd have more cars than drivers, and how widely accessible tertiary education would become, they'd have said it was paradise. But we're in that paradise, and we don't seem to see it that way, do we?"
Much of what he spoke of, I'd read about before, but he wove in a couple of new threads. One was about education and his work at Geelong Grammar School in Australia. Seligman is spending six months there this year to help establish a positive psychology curriculum. His contention - and Geelong's belief - is that since positive emotions like optimism can be learned, they should be taught at school alongside more traditional areas of accomplishment. Such learning has the power to add to teenagers' psychological resilience at a point in their lives at which they are especially susceptible to the scourge of depression.
The other new skein was around the politics of wellbeing. What, Seligman asked, is the point of nations accumulating wealth? Once they've achieved the supply of the basics, more wealth manifestly does not increase happiness. This is true of both individuals and nations. Now that we are starting to be able to measure wellbeing, couldn't we - shouldn't we - use the measures as a test of the potency of different policies to create more wellbeing?
The Medicis in fifteenth century Florence debated what to invest their enormous wealth in. Though their generals advocated more war and weapons, they settled instead on the pursuit of beauty and the arts. That brought forth the Renaissance.
Food for thought.
Sarah
Professionelle on Telly!! (pre and post scripts)
The transcript for the TV One segment on Professionelle is here.
